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After he lances the economy this winter and achieves lasting peace in the Middle East by early spring, Obama needs to start focusing on issues for his second and third terms.

Yes, third term. Wild cheers of "Four more years!" will flow forth from even the Conkiest mouths, including Dick Cheney, Sean Hannity, Quayle, Jr, and 89Hen, as he proves to be what every Dem in the world knew he would be in 2008 - the undisputed savior of, not only the Unietd States, but of the world.

After he collects an unprecedented second Nobel Peace Prize and the Nobel Prize for Economics, he should work on the following:

1. Rescue Africa - the poverty there is absolutely sinful. His wisdom and know-how are just the tickets to prosperity there.

2. Abolish limits on Muslim immigration to the United States - they have a lot to teach us and, before our Conk-generated decline steepens more, we will need their thoughtful insights. We should become immersed in Muslim culture.

3. Trim our ineffective military by one half. Sell a couple of those nuke powered submarines to Kim jong Il's son, so he can gurantee peace in his time on the Korean peninsula. It will benefit us all. Plus, we will have less militant survivalist types like Z and BUCDAD and Hoagie and 89Hen.

4. Give back to Mexico what we stole form them in the 1800's. California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, etc. They owned them back then, they own them now, so let's just make it legal.

5. Merge with Canada. Plenty of resources for us to bully away from thema nd exploit for our own, fat purposes. What are they gonna do, fight us?

6. Legalize all drugs. Take the profit out of them and there goes the violence. Kick Nancy Reagan to the curb - "Just say 'no', my ass". We lost that "war" decades ago and it's a money pit, like our military. See above.

7. Send Conservatives to reeducation camps. They're old and their sh*t is old. And I volunteer to be a guard in the D.C. area camps.

8. Ban meat and oil. Two of our country's biggest problems. No fat people, clean air to breath.

9. Institute a playoff system in FBS football. Requires no explanation. Chinese could help us immensely, here.

10. Invite Hugo Chavez to start up a chapter of his effective, forward-thinking political party in the United States. Again, we can learn from him. Our sh*t is broken and we need ideas.

11. Make the Chinese comfortable when they get here in 2017. After they take over, open up all our cities, towns, farms, government so they can come in and run it right. Our people deserve better than the Conk-inspired corruption and abuse they've had to deal with for 100 years.

12. Outlaw shaving by women...Hugo and the Chinese like'm hairy and we want to make them happy

13. Paint all helicopters fushia. Black helicopters really bum me out and, well, fushia is such a nice color.

14. Set up re-education camps for all former collegte football players. It's plainly obvious that they didn't get education during their college years, so now's as good a time as any.

Muy bien ideas, Capitan Gato.

Hook up Mahmoud in Iran so he doesn't have to worry 'bout no stinkin' UN inspections

Me homey Lil' Kim could use a break from all the hate.

Open borders with Cuba.

Mandarin and Espanol mandated as national languages.

I get quatro hours/week in national radio show - maybe "Car talk with Hugo"

Buy your oil from anywhere, as long as it rhymes with Henezuela.

Thanks for reminding me about Cuba, hermano!


We need to open up that country, but not exploit it as we've done every other with whom we've dealt. A balanced approach, a phenomenon particular to only Obama, is what we must execute. Couple tourism with infrastructure upgrades, then move on to investment in business and health care. ObamaCare is the new model for world health and must be exported with vigor, instead of the bombs and guns and jet fighters of the ConkModel.

Cap'n Cat wrote:8. Ban meat and oil. Two of our country's biggest problems. No fat people, clean air to breath.

You and your brother are the only two Libs that would rather die then go veggie. What would you do if this happened?

89Hen wrote:

Cap'n Cat wrote:8. Ban meat and oil. Two of our country's biggest problems. No fat people, clean air to breath.

You and your brother are the only two Libs that would rather die then go veggie. What would you do if this happened?

True!

Cap'n Cat wrote:After he lances the economy this winter and achieves lasting peace in the Middle East by early spring, Obama needs to start focusing on issues for his second and third terms.

Yes, third term. Wild cheers of "Four more years!" will flow forth from even the Conkiest mouths, including Dick Cheney, Sean Hannity, Quayle, Jr, and 89Hen, as he proves to be what every Dem in the world knew he would be in 2008 - the undisputed savior of, not only the Unietd States, but of the world.

After he collects an unprecedented second Nobel Peace Prize and the Nobel Prize for Economics, he should work on the following:

1. Rescue Africa - the poverty there is absolutely sinful. His wisdom and know-how are just the tickets to prosperity there.

2. Abolish limits on Muslim immigration to the United States - they have a lot to teach us and, before our Conk-generated decline steepens more, we will need their thoughtful insights. We should become immersed in Muslim culture.

3. Trim our ineffective military by one half. Sell a couple of those nuke powered submarines to Kim jong Il's son, so he can gurantee peace in his time on the Korean peninsula. It will benefit us all. Plus, we will have less militant survivalist types like Z and BUCDAD and Hoagie and 89Hen.

4. Give back to Mexico what we stole form them in the 1800's. California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, etc. They owned them back then, they own them now, so let's just make it legal.

5. Merge with Canada. Plenty of resources for us to bully away from thema nd exploit for our own, fat purposes. What are they gonna do, fight us?

6. Legalize all drugs. Take the profit out of them and there goes the violence. Kick Nancy Reagan to the curb - "Just say 'no', my ass". We lost that "war" decades ago and it's a money pit, like our military. See above.

7. Send Conservatives to reeducation camps. They're old and their sh*t is old. And I volunteer to be a guard in the D.C. area camps.

8. Ban meat and oil. Two of our country's biggest problems. No fat people, clean air to breath.

9. Institute a playoff system in FBS football. Requires no explanation. Chinese could help us immensely, here.

10. Invite Hugo Chavez to start up a chapter of his effective, forward-thinking political party in the United States. Again, we can learn from him. Our sh*t is broken and we need ideas.

11. Make the Chinese comfortable when they get here in 2017. After they take over, open up all our cities, towns, farms, government so they can come in and run it right. Our people deserve better than the Conk-inspired corruption and abuse they've had to deal with for 100 years.

1. And spend trillions of more dollars? Not gonna happen. I thought you leftists were against nation building/helping?

2. More immigrants will bankrupt us even more. Sweden lifted their ban on Muslim immigration and their rape cases increased

3. How about we cut every gov't program in half? Military only 15-20%? National security and defense is important.

4. Nobody alive now has anything to do with it. We won them fair and square

5. lol

6. Hellz yeah! Everybody has the right to do what they want with their own body

7. I'm a libertarian conservative. I'm only 22. That's not old.

8. Two of our countries biggest imports. Vital to our economy. Oil will always be a part of our energy plan/solution, like it or not...

9. Playoff system is best at 4 teams and no more or less. I've studied this

10. Socialism has rarely worked

11. Communism has never worked

Col Hogan wrote:12. Outlaw shaving by women...Hugo and the Chinese like'm hairy and we want to make them happy

13. Paint all helicopters fushia. Black helicopters really bum me out and, well, fushia is such a nice color.

14. Set up re-education camps for all former collegte football players. It's plainly obvious that they didn't get education during their college years, so now's as good a time as any.

Why pick on one Ivy League school?

Cap'n Cat wrote:

5. Merge with Canada. Plenty of resources for us to bully away from thema nd exploit for our own, fat purposes. What are they gonna do, fight us?

Most of what you put down was obviously tongue-in-ass, but THIS could be a nugget: