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Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:38 am
by ALPHAGRIZ1
Two Alligators

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.
"Hmm.....Well, where do you catch them?"
"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."
"Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?"
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat'em!"
"Same here." says the big gator. "Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?"
"I eat the Democrats" says the little guy.
"Ah!" says the big gator. "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Democrat, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:56 am
by Skjellyfetti
Image

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:14 am
by mrklean
ALPHAGRIZ1 wrote:Two Alligators

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.
"Hmm.....Well, where do you catch them?"
"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."
"Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?"
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the **** out of them and eat'em!"
"Same here." says the big gator. "Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?"
"I eat the Democrats" says the little guy.
"Ah!" says the big gator. "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the **** out of a Democrat, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."
:thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:38 am
by bandl
Image

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 12:39 pm
by Rob Iola
This makes me sad. What will happen to the alligators after Trump drains the swamp?

Re: RE: Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 1:02 pm
by ALPHAGRIZ1
bandl wrote:Image
WTF do you know about being funny?

Lately it's like Andy hijacked your account......... :coffee:

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Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 2:05 pm
by dbackjon
Rob Iola wrote:This makes me sad. What will happen to the alligators after Trump drains the swamp?


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Oh wait, were you serious?

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 2:19 pm
by Ibanez
bandl wrote:Image
Lawl




Did I say it right, Cid?


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Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 4:16 pm
by kalm
What did the leper say to the hooker?
Spoiler: show
keep the tip! :ohno:

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:43 pm
by Ibanez
kalm wrote:What did the leper say to the hooker?
Spoiler: show
keep the tip! :ohno:
That's horrible.


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Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:56 pm
by JohnStOnge
Ibanez wrote:
kalm wrote:What did the leper say to the hooker?
Spoiler: show
keep the tip! :ohno:
That's horrible.
True.

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:48 pm
by kalm
JohnStOnge wrote:
Ibanez wrote: That's horrible.
True.
Hey I'm not proud of it. Just thought I owed it to this thread.

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:57 pm
by SeattleGriz
Skjellyfetti wrote:Image
Don't be so angry.

Re: Two Alligators

Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 7:08 am
by CID1990
Ibanez wrote:
bandl wrote:Image
Lawl




Did I say it right, Cid?


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all caps or no caps

there is no halfway combo


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