Championship Subdivision Football | FCS Football | Stadiums | Blogs | Forums

I can hear the furious thwacketa-thwacketa-thwacketa of T and Z and native and wildkyle's fists against their pampered Conk puds as they inhale this vomit.

Oy.




And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that
the people of the land called America, having lost their morals,
their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as
their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One". He emerged from
the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the
people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of experience,
my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with
evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and
Change.. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who
preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he
has built must be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even
though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it
was good; and they believed.


And "The One" said "We live in the greatest
country in the world. Help me change everything about it!" And the
people said, "Hallelujah!! Change is good!" Then He said, "We are
going to tax the rich fat-cats,"
And the people said "Sock it to them!" and
redistribute their wealth." And the people said, "Show us
the money!" And then He said, "Redistribution of
wealth is good for everybody" And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you
kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the
deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's
personal records were hacked and publicized.


One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist
policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom! Then a citizen
asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military
experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"
And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them
and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they
ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We
are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the
people!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you
lower taxes." And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY
taxes." So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes
the fat-cats pay!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the
money!" Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you
sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing
market collapsed.



And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded
health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall
give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and
transportation to the clinics." And the people said, "Give me some
of that!" Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs
overseas."



And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is
dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part
about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If
your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you
out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"


Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned
and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty,Social Security, free
education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and
guaranteed > housing..." And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And
they made him King!



And so it came to pass that employers, facing
spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid
off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the
economy sank like unto a rock
dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was
destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people
were without a means of support. Then "The One" said, "I am the "The
One" - The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print
more money so everyone will have enough!"


But our foreign trading partners said unto Him,
"Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You
will have to pay more..." And the people said, "Wait a minute. That
is unfair!!"

And the world said, "Neither are these other
idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist
state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!" And
the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea
verily, it was too late. The people set upon "The One" and spat upon
him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation
was no more; And the once proud people were without sustenance or
shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like
unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that
consumed all that they had built.
And the people beat their chests in despair and
cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our
hope!!"


But it was too late, and their homeland was no
more.



You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not.
It's happening RIGHT NOW

I for one completely believe every word of that...
God is judging us for our sins

Not bad, actually. Worth every penny if it gets some Donks' mouths to start twitching and foaming.

Chizzang wrote:I for one completely believe every word of that...
We are judging others for their perceived sins

There, that's more accurate.

Wedgie,
Did you leave the gate open for these whackenheimers?

Holy fuck.

Cap'n Cat wrote:Wedgie,
Did you leave the gate open for these whackenheimers?

Holy fuck.

That one dude has got to be either me or you in disguise, and I know it ain't me.

Wedgebuster wrote:

Cap'n Cat wrote:Wedgie,
Did you leave the gate open for these whackenheimers?

Holy fuck.

That one dude has got to be either me or you in disguise, and I know it ain't me.

You know, when I read that, it struck me as D1B.

Cap'n Cat wrote:

Wedgebuster wrote:
That one dude has got to be either me or you in disguise, and I know it ain't me.

You know, when I read that, it struck me as D1B.

You gonna go crying to Chris about it, like you did about my last attempted ruse?

I think that letter is pretty accurate. Especially the part about the sheeple following "The One".

SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF B ITCHING AND WHINING BECAUSE A CERTAIN GRANDPA AND A CERTAIN UNDERQUALIFIED WOMAN DIDN'T WIN.

Conk lashing out could be an Olympic sport.

Cap'n Cat wrote:Conk lashing out could be an Olympic sport.

So could donk lashing out.





LASH OUT CONK, LASH OUT!
-Ralph circa 2006

Wedgebuster wrote:

Cap'n Cat wrote:Wedgie,
Did you leave the gate open for these whackenheimers?

Holy fuck.

That one dude has got to be either me or you in disguise, and I know it ain't me.

What one dude, what the hell are you two talking about. Cleets?

D1B wrote:

Cap'n Cat wrote:

You know, when I read that, it struck me as D1B.

You gonna go crying to Chris about it, like you did about my last attempted ruse?

BlackFalkin?

Cap'n Cat wrote: I can hear the furious thwacketa-thwacketa-thwacketa of T and Z and native and wildkyle's fists against their pampered Conk puds as they inhale this vomit.

Oy.




And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that
the people of the land called America, having lost their morals,
their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as
their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One". He emerged from
the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the
people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of experience,
my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with
evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and
Change.. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who
preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he
has built must be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even
though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it
was good; and they believed.


And "The One" said "We live in the greatest
country in the world. Help me change everything about it!" And the
people said, "Hallelujah!! Change is good!" Then He said, "We are
going to tax the rich fat-cats,"
And the people said "Sock it to them!" and
redistribute their wealth." And the people said, "Show us
the money!" And then He said, "Redistribution of
wealth is good for everybody" And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you
kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the
deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's
personal records were hacked and publicized.


One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist
policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom! Then a citizen
asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military
experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"
And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them
and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they
ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We
are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the
people!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you
lower taxes." And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY
taxes." So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes
the fat-cats pay!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the
money!" Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you
sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing
market collapsed.



And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded
health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall
give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and
transportation to the clinics." And the people said, "Give me some
of that!" Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs
overseas."



And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is
dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part
about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If
your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you
out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"


Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned
and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty,Social Security, free
education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and
guaranteed > housing..." And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And
they made him King!



And so it came to pass that employers, facing
spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid
off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the
economy sank like unto a rock
dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was
destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people
were without a means of support. Then "The One" said, "I am the "The
One" - The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print
more money so everyone will have enough!"


But our foreign trading partners said unto Him,
"Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You
will have to pay more..." And the people said, "Wait a minute. That
is unfair!!"

And the world said, "Neither are these other
idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist
state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!" And
the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea
verily, it was too late. The people set upon "The One" and spat upon
him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation
was no more; And the once proud people were without sustenance or
shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like
unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that
consumed all that they had built.
And the people beat their chests in despair and
cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our
hope!!"


But it was too late, and their homeland was no
more.



You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not.
It's happening RIGHT NOW

Thanks a fucking bunch!

... lols

1. for the most part, these emails are written by operatives (usually interns) at DCI... these don't come from "some guy in ohio or missouri"

2. I love how "Obama duped people and the media were complicit" the biggest whiny-ass-titty-baby complaint that misses the fact that the GOP's time is over and they've fucked up this country to the point that we could have nominated almost anyone and we would have won.

3. this contains my favorite of all time right wing bullshit canards... "illegal immigrants and social security" it's not true, it's never been true... but it plays on prejudice and affirms the readers belief that everyone is getting something but them (even if they are getting something). it's right up there with "they'll take our guns omgeezus"

also love that "joe the plumber" is cited as some kind of moral authority on anything... he's all that's left for them to "rally round"

TwinTownBisonFan wrote:... lols

1. for the most part, these emails are written by operatives (usually interns) at DCI... these don't come from "some guy in ohio or missouri"

2. I love how "Obama duped people and the media were complicit" the biggest whiny-ass-titty-baby complaint that misses the fact that the GOP's time is over and they've fucked up this country to the point that we could have nominated almost anyone and we would have won.

3. this contains my favorite of all time right wing bullshit canards... "illegal immigrants and social security" it's not true, it's never been true... but it plays on prejudice and affirms the readers belief that everyone is getting something but them (even if they are getting something). it's right up there with "they'll take our guns omgeezus"

also love that "joe the plumber" is cited as some kind of moral authority on anything... he's all that's left for them to "rally round"

Obama is going to take our guns and perform abortions with them!

TwinTownBisonFan wrote:... lols

1. for the most part, these emails are written by operatives (usually interns) at DCI... these don't come from "some guy in ohio or missouri"

2. I love how "Obama duped people and the media were complicit" the biggest whiny-ass-titty-baby complaint that misses the fact that the GOP's time is over and they've **** up this country to the point that we could have nominated almost anyone and we would have won.

3. this contains my favorite of all time right wing bullshit canards... "illegal immigrants and social security" it's not true, it's never been true... but it plays on prejudice and affirms the readers belief that everyone is getting something but them (even if they are getting something). it's right up there with "they'll take our guns omgeezus"

also love that "joe the plumber" is cited as some kind of moral authority on anything... he's all that's left for them to "rally round"

Keep it up, TTBF! You'll get your official James Carville "Whiner" creds soon enough!

Keep it up, TTBF. When you're not looking, they're crying, scared shitless.

TwinTownBisonFan wrote:... lols

1. for the most part, these emails are written by operatives (usually interns) at DCI... these don't come from "some guy in ohio or missouri"

2. I love how "Obama duped people and the media were complicit" the biggest whiny-ass-titty-baby complaint that misses the fact that the GOP's time is over and they've fucked up this country to the point that we could have nominated almost anyone and we would have won.

3. this contains my favorite of all time right wing bullshit canards... "illegal immigrants and social security" it's not true, it's never been true... but it plays on prejudice and affirms the readers belief that everyone is getting something but them (even if they are getting something). it's right up there with "they'll take our guns omgeezus"

also love that "joe the plumber" is cited as some kind of moral authority on anything... he's all that's left for them to "rally round"

Great post TTBF. You are without a doubt my favorite poster on the political board, beside Cap'n of course. You two mow down dumb fucking conks like a John Deere Wide Deck Mulcher...

D1B wrote:

TwinTownBisonFan wrote:... lols

1. for the most part, these emails are written by operatives (usually interns) at DCI... these don't come from "some guy in ohio or missouri"

2. I love how "Obama duped people and the media were complicit" the biggest whiny-ass-titty-baby complaint that misses the fact that the GOP's time is over and they've fucked up this country to the point that we could have nominated almost anyone and we would have won.

3. this contains my favorite of all time right wing bullshit canards... "illegal immigrants and social security" it's not true, it's never been true... but it plays on prejudice and affirms the readers belief that everyone is getting something but them (even if they are getting something). it's right up there with "they'll take our guns omgeezus"

also love that "joe the plumber" is cited as some kind of moral authority on anything... he's all that's left for them to "rally round"

Great post TTBF. You are without a doubt my favorite poster on the political board, beside Cap'n of course. You two mow down dumb fucking conks like a John Deere Wide Deck Mulcher...

You use your tounger prettier than a whore.

D1B wrote:

TwinTownBisonFan wrote:... lols

1. for the most part, these emails are written by operatives (usually interns) at DCI... these don't come from "some guy in ohio or missouri"

2. I love how "Obama duped people and the media were complicit" the biggest whiny-ass-titty-baby complaint that misses the fact that the GOP's time is over and they've fucked up this country to the point that we could have nominated almost anyone and we would have won.

3. this contains my favorite of all time right wing bullshit canards... "illegal immigrants and social security" it's not true, it's never been true... but it plays on prejudice and affirms the readers belief that everyone is getting something but them (even if they are getting something). it's right up there with "they'll take our guns omgeezus"

also love that "joe the plumber" is cited as some kind of moral authority on anything... he's all that's left for them to "rally round"

Great post TTBF. You are without a doubt my favorite poster on the political board, beside Cap'n of course. You two mow down dumb fucking conks like a John Deere Wide Deck Mulcher...

TTBF is way beyond The Cap'n. I'm Adam Carolla to his Dr. Drew:


"Man, white pussy smells so awesome, Doc."
"Uh, that's nice, Adam, but we're here to talk about DNA."

Cap'n Cat wrote:

D1B wrote:
Great post TTBF. You are without a doubt my favorite poster on the political board, beside Cap'n of course. You two mow down dumb fucking conks like a John Deere Wide Deck Mulcher...

TTBF is way beyond The Cap'n. I'm Adam Carolla to his Dr. Drew:


"Man, white pussy smells so awesome, Doc."
"Uh, that's nice, Adam, but we're here to talk about DNA."

With the amount of time you spend on your knees for him, he must be getting PRETTY chafed

wideright82 wrote:

Cap'n Cat wrote:
TTBF is way beyond The Cap'n. I'm Adam Carolla to his Dr. Drew:


"Man, white pussy smells so awesome, Doc."
"Uh, that's nice, Adam, but we're here to talk about DNA."

With the amount of time you spend on your knees for him, he must be getting PRETTY chafed

Hey, WideLoad,
D1B is merely expressing publicly what every other motherfucker on this page is thinking privately:


"God damn that fucking Cap'n Cat is one smart and hilarious motherfucker!"

Cap'n Cat wrote:

wideright82 wrote:


With the amount of time you spend on your knees for him, he must be getting PRETTY chafed

Hey, WideLoad,
D1B is merely expressing publicly what every other motherfucker on this page is thinking privately:


"God damn that fucking Cap'n Cat is one smart and hilarious motherfucker!"

Yeah, that's what I meant.