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A couple months ago I got fed up with my neighbor's mutt coming on property and chasing my squirrels, scaring the birds, diggin up shit in my flower beds and taking humongous shits on my lawn in high traffic areas - and then not picking them up or at least eating them. Well the last straw was finding one of my (over 200 as of 5/1/9) beloved cats dead near the garage. I knew it was that fucking dog.

I reached a breaking point and shot the fucker in my backyard a while back. Pumped "Beaver" full of 4 turkey loads out of my 870 Wingmaster while my neighbor was at work. Out of spite, I deliberately clipped him in the ass, then released three to dome lid and nearly took off his head. I dragged him across the property and dumped him in a ravine. The coyotes took care of him overnight - there was nothing left. I heard it too. Must have been a pack of 8-12 squealing and yelping and making the most unusual sounds - all night. Sounded like an Omega Psi Phi party the day welfare checks arrive.

I never told my neighbor I had issues with his dog. He's a nice enough guy and I didn't want to tarnish our relationship (Primarily because he house sits for me, tills my huge garden every year, fixed my furnace when it went out at -20 last winter, loans me money, and often drops by with a cup a coffee to shoot the shit) Why ruin a good thing with an "issue".

Anyway, If I bitched about it, he would have suspected me. Instead, he came over (no coffee ), distraught about his missing dog and I comforted him by assuring him we would find ole Beaver. I even asked him If I could use his awesome Honda 4 wheeler to look for him while he's at work. I'm unemployed and it's the least I could do. He let me, but unfortunately, after several hours of "searching" (read: doughnuts, wheelies, jumps, swamp runs) - no Beaver , but I did crack both ball joints on his front steering and I'm pretty sure Reverse, 1st and 2nd are cashed. Perhaps, in a weird way, fixing the Quad will take his mind off Beaver. Hey what can I say - I'm golden.

So lately, I'm finding myself frequently driving by the local humane society and checking out the poor mutts awaiting adoption. I've resisted the urge to enter but.... Come on, they are goin to gas at least 80% of em, right? Why can't I just adopt em, let em loose, then blast em, for sport?

I don't know, if I were a dog, I would rather die like that than in a congregate gas chamber.

What do you guys think?

Oh, here a pic of Beaver right before he wen't to big kennel in the sky:

It was wrong to feed the dog to the coyotes. Now, when your neighbor does get a dog, the coyotes will be looking at it as their next meal.

Terrible. Just terrible. I'd have only used the quad for two hours. You really went over the top there, D.

BlueHen86 wrote:It was wrong to feed the dog to the coyotes. Now, when your neighbor does get a dog, the coyotes will be looking at it as their next meal.

I'm just glad the coyotes don't bother cats.

D1B wrote:

BlueHen86 wrote:It was wrong to feed the dog to the coyotes. Now, when your neighbor does get a dog, the coyotes will be looking at it as their next meal.

I'm just glad the coyotes don't bother cats.

Must be a different strain of coyote. They LOVE cats here.

AZGrizFan wrote:

D1B wrote:
I'm just glad the coyotes don't bother cats.

Must be a different strain of coyote. They LOVE cats here.

Damn, I just wonder if the coyotes killed Baby Benjamin and not the neighbor's dog??? Oops.

Oh well...

D1B wrote:

AZGrizFan wrote:
Must be a different strain of coyote. They LOVE cats here.

Damn, I just wonder if the coyotes killed Baby Benjamin and not the neighbor's dog??? Oops.

Oh well...

Have any cats been killed since you shot the neighbors dog?

If not, the coyotes are off the hook.

Cats make great sound effects when used for skeet shooting...

BlueHen86 wrote:

D1B wrote:
Damn, I just wonder if the coyotes killed Baby Benjamin and not the neighbor's dog??? Oops.

Oh well...

Have any cats been killed since you shot the neighbors dog?

If not, the coyotes are off the hook.

Oh god yes. I have over 200 of em. They die all the time. None of em have their shots, I live in the country so they carouse with farm and other ferel cats and essentially exist in a vertitable cornucopia of feline disease and frequent predation.

Looking back, around the time I shot Beaver in the ass then blew his head off, I was drinking a shit load of whiskey - I MEAN a shitload - all day, every day. Shit just made me mean.

Anyhoo, I think I have mutt fever. All I think about is Beaver, rolling on the ground - literally "half-assed" and then the surgical precision of my shots to the head and neck. It was like Tarantino doing a remake of a Sam Peckinpaw movie - slow motion beauty.

I want to do it again, but something just seems wrong about it. I just don't know what.

D1B wrote:

BlueHen86 wrote:
Have any cats been killed since you shot the neighbors dog?

If not, the coyotes are off the hook.

Oh god yes. I have over 200 of em. They die all the time. None of em have their shots, I live in the country so they carouse with farm and other ferel cats and essentially exist in a vertitable cornucopia of feline disease and frequent predation.

Looking back, around the time I shot Beaver in the ass then blew his head off, I was drinking a shit load of whiskey - I MEAN a shitload - all day, every day. Shit just made me mean.

Anyhoo, I think I have mutt fever. All I think about is Beaver, rolling on the ground - literally "half-assed" and then the surgical precision of my shots to the head and neck. It was like Tarantino doing a remake of a Sam Peckinpaw movie - slow motion beauty.

I want to do it again, but something just seems wrong about it. I just don't know what.

1. Get your neighbor a dog.
2. Shoot the dog.
3. Feed it to the coyotes.
4. Shoot the coyotes as they eat the dog.

Your mistake was omitting step 4.

BlueHen86 wrote:

D1B wrote:
Oh god yes. I have over 200 of em. They die all the time. None of em have their shots, I live in the country so they carouse with farm and other ferel cats and essentially exist in a vertitable cornucopia of feline disease and frequent predation.

Looking back, around the time I shot Beaver in the ass then blew his head off, I was drinking a shit load of whiskey - I MEAN a shitload - all day, every day. Shit just made me mean.

Anyhoo, I think I have mutt fever. All I think about is Beaver, rolling on the ground - literally "half-assed" and then the surgical precision of my shots to the head and neck. It was like Tarantino doing a remake of a Sam Peckinpaw movie - slow motion beauty.

I want to do it again, but something just seems wrong about it. I just don't know what.

1. Get your neighbor a dog.
2. Shoot the dog.
3. Feed it to the coyotes.
4. Shoot the coyotes as they eat the dog.

Your mistake was omitting step 4.

I thought coyotes were a protected species, like the snail darter???

D1B wrote:

BlueHen86 wrote:
1. Get your neighbor a dog.
2. Shoot the dog.
3. Feed it to the coyotes.
4. Shoot the coyotes as they eat the dog.

Your mistake was omitting step 4.

I thought coyotes were a protected species, like the snail darter???

If anybody asks, just say you are shooting neighborhood dogs.

Wow D you sure are turning into a pussy my man. "Am I doing the right thing?" WTF? This dog was an obvious nuisance to you, your cats, and was treating your front lawn like Cap'n treats his underalls. Big F'n deal you shot a dog. It wasn't YOUR DOG so what's the problem here? Jeezus Christ OPRAH enough with the touchy feely bullshit already.

I can't believe you broke reverse I mean, you can get by with a couple of forward gears, but REVERSE?

No soup for you - come back, 1 year.

Are you doing the right thing? I don't understand the question, because of course your actions cannot be judged objectively. If shooting your neighbor's dog brings more pleasure and joy to you, than it causes pain for your neighbor, your actions are acceptable.

JoltinJoe wrote:Are you doing the right thing? I don't understand the question, because of course your actions cannot be judged objectively. If shooting your neighbor's dog brings results brings more pleasure and joy to you, AND it causes pain for your neighbor, your actions are acceptable.

fixed it for you...

Rob Iola wrote:

JoltinJoe wrote:Are you doing the right thing? I don't understand the question, because of course your actions cannot be judged objectively. If shooting your neighbor's dog brings results brings more pleasure and joy to you, AND it causes pain for your neighbor, your actions are acceptable.

fixed it for you...

Thanks!

This beloved neighbor wouldn't happen to be your smack dealer would he?

Thanks for the laugh D1B. I really needed it.

1. Coyotes are not protected, shoot'em if you want
2. Get your neighbor another dog. Think of it as fun to be had in the future.
3. Never, and I mean NEVER, second guess yourself.

You should have dressed it, packed it on ice and shipped it here. I know a guy that serves it at his restaurant.

Usually roast it like this, best part is the head.

Gil Dobie wrote:You should have dressed it, packed it on ice and shipped it here. I know a guy that serves it at his restaurant.

Usually roast it like this, best part is the head.

Is dat Cahrrie or Brack Rab?

Ursus A. Horribilis wrote:Wow D you sure are turning into a pussy my man. "Am I doing the right thing?" WTF? This dog was an obvious nuisance to you, your cats, and was treating your front lawn like Cap'n treats his underalls. Big F'n deal you shot a dog. It wasn't YOUR DOG so what's the problem here? Jeezus Christ OPRAH enough with the touchy feely bullshit already.

Gotta agree with Ursus on this one....

Gil Dobie wrote:You should have dressed it, packed it on ice and shipped it here. I know a guy that serves it at his restaurant.

Usually roast it like this, best part is the head.

those are poodles those are poodles those are poodles those are............

Gil Dobie wrote:You should have dressed it, packed it on ice and shipped it here. I know a guy that serves it at his restaurant.

Usually roast it like this, best part is the head.

Even in this condition, they wouldn't win the ugliest dog competition.

BlueHen86 wrote:

Gil Dobie wrote:You should have dressed it, packed it on ice and shipped it here. I know a guy that serves it at his restaurant.

Usually roast it like this, best part is the head.

Even in this condition, they wouldn't win the ugliest dog competition.

Agreed...