2. Look out window to make sure neighbor can't see you heating and "carving" up the pumpkin you got for Halloween.
3. Run shower, put eye blinders on, so you don't see yourself naked in the shower.
4. Rub one off while thinking about the Griz football program (Still wearing blinders, so it's OK)
5. Hop in Prius and drive by 41,695 churches on way to stadium.
6. Arrive at simulated high school stadium and get your pregame on by drinking filtered water, waving team flag and attaining a tantric breathing pattern while thinking of the Sugar Bears.
7. Watch hordes of drunk Montana fans pour out of RV's, planes, cars and buses. Think to yourself "what a bunch of heathens".
8. Dream about being one of the Montana fans drinking, raping and pillaging your parking lot, button top button on your collared Wildcats shirt.
9. Log in to school account on your smart phone to purchase Witchapaluzza tickets for Saturday nights Dinner at The Gathering Place. http://www.gardnervillage.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
10. Get into the stadium early to be "seen" at the game, notice the Montana fans really don't care if your in WGS South stadium or not and you think about hating Chase Reynolds.
11. Griz football team enters the stadium in new combat uniforms and you notice a tingle in your "naughty place", say prayer and drink more filtered water.
12. Watch Weber St team enter the field and you get that "here we go again" feeling you have had since the first game you attended 17 years ago. Glance at griz cheerleaders, and note the tingle in your "naughty place" increases.
13. Chase Reynolds runs, catches, rapes and pillages the not so Wildcats and Griz have WSU down by 13 at half.
14 Check smartphone for the time, while counting down the hours until the Witchapalooza Dinner show after the game. Tingle subdues slightly then start to increase again.
15. Watch the Griz come out at half time and have their way with the Wildcats on 5 2 or 3 play 1:49 second drives resulting in a 37 yard TD pass from Larson to Moutra. Feel very violated and think back to the "happening" at church......that you would rather not talk about in this post.
16. Watch the other 17 Weber St fans, pray, then get up and leave at the start of the 4th qtr while your team is down 21. Starting to see why hating Chase Reynolds may be a good thing.
17. Notice Montana fans seem to have seamlessly and professionally kept the heathen drinking party going from the parking lot to the stadium, and one of them asks you "if your a 1, 2 or 3 hole kind of guy."
18. Watch Griz cheerleaders "toss" each other into the air, and you think about "tossing" your decorative pillows on the davenport at home. Cause your a rebel.
19. Stand up to leave the stadium, pray, look at the Sugar Bears and quickly finish off your second bottle of filtered water.
20. Game over, Griz roll, and you walk out feeling violated (see end of #15) and realize you do REALLY hate Chase Reynolds.
21. Walk to Prius and notice even more Montana fans drinking, raping and pillaging the parking lot. They then board RV's, planes, cars and buses and you over hear one of them scream "Let's go find the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and get our freak on", "Wildcats can suck it!"
22. Sit in Prius, your very puzzled as to how there are now way more Montana fans than there were at the beginning of the game.
23. Arrive home, hop in shower, put on blinders and "lubricate" with Old Spice "Swagger" then crank one off thinking about the costumes at the Witchapalooza dinner show you will be attending in just under 2 hours. (It's still OK since you have the blinders on)
24. Get dressed up for Witchapalooza by putting on a white collared shirt and a black tie, decide to be a little "saucy" for Halloween and leave name badge at home.
25. Wish you had a date but remember most of the hot Mormon women were already ravaged by AG1's brief stint in your community, hence they are all unclean, worn out and definitely damaged goods.
26. Arrive at The Gathering Place for the Witchapalooza Dinner show, notice increase tingle in your "naughty region" when a very leggy wicked witch of the west walks by to get another bottle of bottled water.
27. You follow suit by sitting down at your table and ordering a bottle of filtered water.
28. The Gathering Place fills up, show starts and you see Montana fans drinking their asses off 3 tables to the right and they periodically yell "GO GRIZ", then start singing the lyrics to AC/DCs Highway to Hell",you button the top button on your white collared shirt.
29. Notice a sexy witch disrobe and orally put a spell on the mouth of a rabid Griz fan wearing a #37 jersey. They go into the next room and she comes back wearing the #37 jersey.
30. Rip the buttons off your collared shirt while spilling your filtered water and scream, "I was born in the wrong GODDAMN STATE!!!!!! FU*K BRIGHAM YOUNG, AND GIVE ME A GODDAMN JAGER BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
31. Montana fan pours you 4 shots of Jager and yells GO GRIZ! Then he teaches you the words to AC/DCs Highway to Hell.
32. After a brief meeting in the other room with the naughty witch in the #37 jersey, you notice a burning sensation in your "naughty place".
33. Montana fan pours you an Absolute 7 and gives you some mushrooms that DO NOT go on pizza.
34. A plethora of witches and a really fat troll, rally around your bubbling cauldron and cast spells on you until midnight.
35. Notice a bunch of drunk Montana fans getting out of a stolen West Jordan Police car, unload 37 cases of whiskey and beer then enter Witchapalooza and turn it into a bonfire party.
36. Wake up the nest morning (Sunday) realize you have missed church, your Wildcats lost and it REALLY burns when you pee. You drink some orange juice and wonder why it too tastes like vodka? Figure out this isnt your home when homeowners return from church.
37. Hop in stolen police car, drive home and realize you just partied all night at Witchapalooza with the legend that is AG1.
Happy Halloween!!!
See you Saturday biotches!
