Sent to me by my Cat alum cousin...

[putter]

Study: 96-Percent of UM Sports Fans Have No Idea How Annoying They Are

By The Associated Press

According to a study set to be released today by the Center for Sports
Research, a whopping 96-percent of UM sports fans have no idea how
unbelievably annoying they are to those who are not supporters of the
Griz.

"It's amazing. The vast majority of these people actually think that
they behave just as any other fans do, and that people who have a
problem with them are simply jealous," said the study's director, Dr.
Michael Kreager, a Princeton sociologist. "When in fact, almost all UM
fans have become obnoxious Grizzholes of the highest order."

The study found that UM fans are woefully lacking in knowledge of how to
respectfully conduct themselves when one of their teams wins. But worse,
they revel in their boorish behavior and seem to find more enjoyment in
flaunting their good fortune in the faces of others than they do in
sincerely celebrating and relishing their teams' achievements.

"This behavior has been festering for awhile," said Dr. Kreager. "By
harping on and on about how great their team is, as though they are the
reason for it, UM fans have actually started to believe they are more
important than fans of other schools and therefore deserve to win more.
When in fact, all they are are crappy fans of a great program."

Hailing from the Big Sky Conference, UM has enjoyed massive success on
the football field, but it's not as easy to make a mark in basketball.
During the 2005-06 NCAA tournament the Griz did just that by beating
Nevada to advance from the first round. It wasn't much, but it was
enough to make a vicious cocktail that transformed even the most subdued
and casual UM sports fan into an obnoxious, drunken meathead, unbearably
annoying to anyone with different rooting interests.

"I wanted to be happy for these people when the Griz won, but I found it
impossible," said Dan Miller, a Boston native who now lives outside
Missoula. "Before I could even congratulate any of my friends or
acquaintances they got up in my face, yelling and screaming and saying
how my favorite teams suck, or leaving messages on my cell phone
gloating about it. So instead of being a mild supporter of UM teams, now
I hate them with every fiber of my being. Same with most of their fans."


The study also found that some 89 percent of UM fans believe they are
the most knowledgeable fan base in the world, when in reality they are
no more savvy than any other.

"We found this to be most evident in relation to their football team,"
said Dr. Kreager. "Until they won the National Championship in 1995,
most Montanans barely paid attention to UM football, but now - thanks to
the Griz making the playoffs every year for over a decade - they seem to
believe they invented the game or something and that their stadium is
the epitome of all things football. Of course, once the Griz inevitably
start struggling some day, we expect most of their fans to ignore them
again."

The only saving grace for Griz fans - or perhaps more for people who
come into regular contact with them - is that UM is basically a degree
factory that continues to push sub-par academia through it's sullied
halls. But even in that mediocrity, the Grizzhole-ishness finds a way to
shine through.

"I personally found it hilarious that the Griz manage to squawk about
how great their core academics are, or about how high their graduation
rate is. Well duh! It's hard to flunk out of school when simply learning
how to roll a joint ensures a degree with honors. Star athletes have
actually graduated from the UM who can't read. I usually try to step
back and stay completely objective when I'm studying a group of people,
but I have to say - these people are freaking morons. Absolutely
unbearable."

Predictably, the ever-belligerent and cantankerous UM fans do not agree
with the study's findings.

"That is wicked stupid, yo. People are just jealous. Griz envy! What -
did some Kittie fan make up that study? Probably, 'cause the Kitties
suck!" said Tommy Reilly, a 27-year old drive-thru cashier and UM grad.
"Yeah, that's right. You heard me. The Kitties suck!"

[lifesapuntreturn]

Lighten up Richland 1. It's obviously a joke. It's Cat/griz week, for crying out loud.

(If I it had been me writing it, I would have included a reference to the UM Dancing Academy, but that's just me!)

[MrTitleist]

Good stuff. Proud to be annoying, because unlike our redneck fans to the East, we have something to be annoying about!

[WYOBISONMAN]

The associated press would never publish this hoax.

I am surprised that it was even allowed to be posted---what garbage.

Besides--everyone knows that the NDSU fans can be obnoxious at times even when they are playing cupcakes.

Party Foul!! Keep us out of your fight!!

[lifesapuntreturn]

"About UM's Dance Program"
http://www.sfa.umt.edu/drama/

"Becoming a Dance Major"
...At the end of a student’s first year he or she may audition to become a dance major.
The admission audition, held in April, involves learning combinations in modern, ballet and
jazz, and performing a one-and-a-half to two minute solo piece, to be performed privately
for the dance faculty*. Following the admission audition, the faculty writes a formal letter
to each student, addressing the student’s work thus far, with recommended goals for the
future. Following a successful audition, students are officially admitted as dance majors.
*OMG!!! Do the Montana taxpayers know about this???!!!!

"FAQ"
Q: How much previous experience do I need to be a dance major?
A: In order to complete our major, students must be able to successfully complete advanced levels of modern and intermediate levels of ballet. Although some are able to complete the major with little previous experience, most students need an intermediate proficiency when they arrive as freshman. If we believe a student will not be able to graduate from our program in four years, we will tell them this at the Admission Audition.**
**This is always a traumatic time of year in the UM athletic department - the day dozens of UM football players get the news that they aren't going to be able to make it through the Dancing Academy in four years. Or five. Or six....

Q: I might like to double major. Can I do that?
A: Yes! For students who double-major, we recommend you pursue the BA degree, which was created with this in mind.***
***One can only wonder what a double major in "Dance" entails....

The University of Montana - Home of the Dancing Bears!

[MrTitleist]

Montana State Dance Program requirements:

Do you walk on all fours?
Do you prefer alfalfa to kentucky blue grass?
Do you mind being run through the shoot for branding?

If so, you could be the next star for the Montana State Bobcat Dance Team!

[lifesapuntreturn]

Montana State Dance Program requirements:

Do you walk on all fours?
Do you prefer alfalfa to kentucky blue grass?
Do you mind being run through the shoot for branding?

If so, you could be the next star for the Montana State Bobcat Dance Team!

The difference between your post and mine is that mine is real, yours is imagined. As the link indicates, the quotes I provided above are taken right from the UM web page. Only the parts I denote by * or ** or *** are my commentary. Yours, on the other hand, are entirely commentary. I know the Dancing Academy is a sore spot for many UM people but it's true.

The Cat-DancingBears game (I don't buy into the whole "Brawl of the Wild" thing - who started that, anyway?) is just over 24 hours away so this is your last full day for smack. You can do better than the post above, I just know it. C'mon, give me your best shot - time's running out for another year!

[MrTitleist]

To be perfectly honest.... I had no idea UM had a Dance major...

But seriously.. cows on your football field?

And don't worry.. there will be a whole year of smacking after we kick your asses tomorrow.

[putter]

The associated press would never publish this hoax.

I am surprised that it was even allowed to be posted---what garbage.

Besides--everyone knows that the NDSU fans can be obnoxious at times even when they are playing cupcakes.

Some would argue that this is exactly the stuff the AP would post!