Greatest potential rule changes/additions

[bench]

What we're aiming at here is tinkering with our favorite sports in ways that may or may not even be practical, but would be really cool if it came to pass. Everyone wants to fix NFL overtime rules and institute a Bowl Subdivision playoff, but those are common and more aligned with fairness. We want plain fuckin'-A Awesome here, like:

* No more punter flopping – Let's make roughing/running into the kicker a reviewable play. Yeah, I know it's a judgment call, but we're changing it. If it's clear that no reasonable contact was made and the kicker goes down like a Missoula hooker anyway (like during the Pittsburgh-Baltimore game last night), the original foul is waved off and replaced with a fifteen-yard unsportsmanlike penalty against the punter, maybe even call it Conduct Detrimental To The Game By A Grown-Ass Man Acting Like A Total Pussy, and assessed at the end of the return. If the kick is returned for a TD, the penalty is assessed on the ensuing kickoff. Punitive with a healthy dose of humiliation is what we're after here, 'cause that shit is embarrassing. Fuck a bunch of kangaroo kickers and their James Lipton bullshit. This ain't goddamn soccer.

* Road Rage in a Cage – NASCAR is full of guys who are complete badasses when they hop out of their car after a wreck and have a microphone in their face. Why not give them a chance to prove they're not the chickenshits we all suspect they are? When they tell a pit reporter they're going to stomp someone in particular's ass when they get off the track, that shouldn't be idle chatter. Set up a structure of sorts next to Victory Lane–boxing ring, steel cage, octagon, whatever–and force him, under penalty of a suspension and a hefty fine, to get his aggro on after the race. The most important part: he MUST fight somebody. This brave new regime insists you back up all the big shit you've been talkin'. If his intended victim hasn't made similar comments and doesn't want to fight, we won't make him, but any other driver who wants a piece of the Badass du Jour may volunteer. If another driver doesn't want to fight either, all fans who indicate they'd like to kick the guy's ass are put into a lottery, and the winner gets ten minutes with him. But what if there are multiple offenders on a particular race day and only one ring? Easy–Bunkhouse Stampede!

[JMU DJ]

There's actually a good story on MSNBC today about 44 changes that should be made in order to make sports better.

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/28703925/

Get Rid of the DH
Get Rid of sideline interviews
Etc