Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Political discussions
User avatar
GannonFan
Level5
Level5
Posts: 18473
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:51 am
I am a fan of: Delaware
A.K.A.: Non-Partisan Hack

Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by GannonFan »

Funny story. Last election day, I had to take the kids to the dentist so I took off work in the morning. After a thoroughly boring trip to the dentist (one of those pediatric centered dentist places - lots of toys and kids videos playing - plus they give them a gist bag at the end - very odd, but a different topic for a different day) I'm taking the kids home before going to work and I decide to swing by the township building so I can vote. Obviously, no national races last November, being an off year, so it's just a whole bunch of local offices - school board, township offices, tax collector, etc. We go through the ballot and I have all three boys with me in the booth picking names we either know or just spreading around the votes. So we end up getting down to "Township Auditor" and there's no names registered for either party. I say, "hey, let's write my name in as a write-in vote". We do that, cast the votes, and that's that.

Fast forward to just before Thanksgiving, I get a letter in the mail from the county board of elections - apparently, it's a tie (my littlest one loves this, he instantly channels his inner-Lin Manuel Miranda and goes to the Election of 1800 song from "Hamilton") and they cast lots at high noon the day after Thanksgiving. I'm of course busy coaching multiple kids sports teams, so I don't go. Turns out 7 other people wrote their names in so it was a 7 way tie. So 7 votes cast in an election where about 2500 people voted.

Fast forward to sometime before Christmas, and my wife calls me after getting the mail. There's a big envelope in the mail and wouldn't ya know it, it's a fancy form from the electoral board that I won. I quickly look up Township auditor in the PA state code to find out what they do - it's a 6 year term, I get paid $10 an hour, I have subpoena power, but basically in this kind of a township (i.e. a populated one) there's an outside auditing firm and the role is somewhat ceremonial.

So today, I go to the Township building, I get sworn in (a real swearing in, bible and everything. I officially now have pledged to defend the US Constitution!) and I'm officially a Township Auditor. My first elected position. I know have a story to tell at parties for years to come. :thumb:
Proud Member of the Blue Hen Nation
Ibanez
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 60485
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:16 pm
I am a fan of: Coastal Carolina

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by Ibanez »

:lol: I love democracy. :lol:
Turns out I might be a little gay. 89Hen 11/7/17
HI54UNI
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 12387
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:39 pm
I am a fan of: Firing Mark Farley
A.K.A.: Bikinis for JSO
Location: The Panther State

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by HI54UNI »

GannonFan wrote:Funny story. Last election day, I had to take the kids to the dentist so I took off work in the morning. After a thoroughly boring trip to the dentist (one of those pediatric centered dentist places - lots of toys and kids videos playing - plus they give them a gist bag at the end - very odd, but a different topic for a different day) I'm taking the kids home before going to work and I decide to swing by the township building so I can vote. Obviously, no national races last November, being an off year, so it's just a whole bunch of local offices - school board, township offices, tax collector, etc. We go through the ballot and I have all three boys with me in the booth picking names we either know or just spreading around the votes. So we end up getting down to "Township Auditor" and there's no names registered for either party. I say, "hey, let's write my name in as a write-in vote". We do that, cast the votes, and that's that.

Fast forward to just before Thanksgiving, I get a letter in the mail from the county board of elections - apparently, it's a tie (my littlest one loves this, he instantly channels his inner-Lin Manuel Miranda and goes to the Election of 1800 song from "Hamilton") and they cast lots at high noon the day after Thanksgiving. I'm of course busy coaching multiple kids sports teams, so I don't go. Turns out 7 other people wrote their names in so it was a 7 way tie. So 7 votes cast in an election where about 2500 people voted.

Fast forward to sometime before Christmas, and my wife calls me after getting the mail. There's a big envelope in the mail and wouldn't ya know it, it's a fancy form from the electoral board that I won. I quickly look up Township auditor in the PA state code to find out what they do - it's a 6 year term, I get paid $10 an hour, I have subpoena power, but basically in this kind of a township (i.e. a populated one) there's an outside auditing firm and the role is somewhat ceremonial.

So today, I go to the Township building, I get sworn in (a real swearing in, bible and everything. I officially now have pledged to defend the US Constitution!) and I'm officially a Township Auditor. My first elected position. I know have a story to tell at parties for years to come. :thumb:
:lol:

Welcome to the world of being an elected official. Use your power wisely (or at least use it to get rich)!
If fascism ever comes to America, it will come in the name of liberalism. Ronald Reagan, 1975.

Progressivism is cancer

All my posts are satire
User avatar
Col Hogan
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 12230
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 9:29 am
I am a fan of: William & Mary
Location: Republic of Texas

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by Col Hogan »

Can you fix a parking ticket for me???
“Tolerance and Apathy are the last virtues of a dying society.” Aristotle

Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.
User avatar
89Hen
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 39227
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:13 pm
I am a fan of: High Horses
A.K.A.: The Almighty Arbiter

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by 89Hen »

:lol: :thumb: :notworthy:

You should be able to find a way to make some money over 6 years.

Image
Image
User avatar
dbackjon
Moderator Team
Moderator Team
Posts: 45613
Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:20 am
I am a fan of: Northern Arizona
A.K.A.: He/Him
Location: Scottsdale

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by dbackjon »

Congrats!

First Township Auditor, next, the White House!
:thumb:
OL FU
Level3
Level3
Posts: 4335
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:25 pm
I am a fan of: Furman
Location: Greenville SC

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by OL FU »

GannonFan = Swamp Monster ;)
CAA Flagship
4th&29
4th&29
Posts: 38527
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:01 pm
I am a fan of: Old Dominion
A.K.A.: He/His/Him/Himself
Location: Pizza Hell

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by CAA Flagship »

:notworthy: :notworthy: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
kalm
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 62331
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:36 pm
I am a fan of: Eastern
A.K.A.: Humus The Proud
Location: Northern Palouse

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by kalm »

Great...another pro-establishment conk in office... :ohno:
Spoiler: show
this is kind of awesome. Congrats!
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
Rob Iola
Level3
Level3
Posts: 3724
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:45 pm
I am a fan of: Lurking

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by Rob Iola »

You totally need to channel your inner Gilbert & Sullivan and go all Lord High Executioner at your first Township meeting...
Spoiler: show
And good lord man, you need to "accidently" leave an old Playboy in your kid's bathroom just to get you son [SON] back on track...
Proletarians of the world, unite!
User avatar
VictorG
Level3
Level3
Posts: 4662
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:44 pm
I am a fan of: Griz

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by VictorG »

Can you get pot holes fixed? I have one that need filling. It's called Idaho!
Politicians are like Diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason
- Mark Twain
Ivytalk
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 26827
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:22 pm
I am a fan of: Salisbury University
Location: Republic of Western Sussex

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by Ivytalk »

Nice job, Ganny! :thumb: And you can still straddle that center stripe.... 8-)
“I’m tired and done.” — 89Hen 3/27/22.
Jjoey52
Level2
Level2
Posts: 864
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2014 1:42 pm

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by Jjoey52 »

Cool, you must keep us informed of how it goes.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
User avatar
SDHornet
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 19496
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:50 pm
I am a fan of: Sacramento State Hornets

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by SDHornet »

Great story Gannon! :thumb:

Next step is to create the Gannon Foundation in which you take contributions from local businesses to look the other way on certain audits and regulations...and keep all your files on a server in your bathroom and deny any intent of wrong doing. JSO would certainly approve and proclaim you to be the most moral and competent township auditor of all time. :nod: :lol:
User avatar
bluehenbillk
Level4
Level4
Posts: 7660
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:26 am
I am a fan of: elaware
Location: East Coast/Hawaii

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by bluehenbillk »

Congrats!! You'll have to look up where you rank in the line of succession in case the Designated Survivor scenario plays out!
Make Delaware Football Great Again
User avatar
dbackjon
Moderator Team
Moderator Team
Posts: 45613
Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:20 am
I am a fan of: Northern Arizona
A.K.A.: He/Him
Location: Scottsdale

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by dbackjon »

bluehenbillk wrote:Congrats!! You'll have to look up where you rank in the line of succession in case the Designated Survivor scenario plays out!


1,234,666th
:thumb:
User avatar
GannonFan
Level5
Level5
Posts: 18473
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:51 am
I am a fan of: Delaware
A.K.A.: Non-Partisan Hack

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by GannonFan »

I'm already being encouraged to do something with a bit more meat in it - possibly a seat on the local Water Authority Board (as a township representative - multiple townships share the same local Water Authority) or a plumb job on the Local Sewer Authority. Now that would be almost literally getting into the swamp! My wife is being sought after for a spot on the Parks Commission board so we could turn into a power couple, locally speaking of course. However, if this is how JSO and his wife started I'll have to put the brakes on this right away.
Proud Member of the Blue Hen Nation
Ivytalk
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 26827
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:22 pm
I am a fan of: Salisbury University
Location: Republic of Western Sussex

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by Ivytalk »

GannonFan wrote:I'm already being encouraged to do something with a bit more meat in it - possibly a seat on the local Water Authority Board (as a township representative - multiple townships share the same local Water Authority) or a plumb job on the Local Sewer Authority. Now that would be almost literally getting into the swamp! My wife is being sought after for a spot on the Parks Commission board so we could turn into a power couple, locally speaking of course. However, if this is how JSO and his wife started I'll have to put the brakes on this right away.
Plum

But plumb is funnier! :rofl:
“I’m tired and done.” — 89Hen 3/27/22.
Ivytalk
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 26827
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:22 pm
I am a fan of: Salisbury University
Location: Republic of Western Sussex

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by Ivytalk »

GannonFan wrote:I'm already being encouraged to do something with a bit more meat in it - possibly a seat on the local Water Authority Board (as a township representative - multiple townships share the same local Water Authority) or a plumb job on the Local Sewer Authority. Now that would be almost literally getting into the swamp! My wife is being sought after for a spot on the Parks Commission board so we could turn into a power couple, locally speaking of course. However, if this is how JSO and his wife started I'll have to put the brakes on this right away.
Vote GannonFan! The beating heart of the administrative state! :clap: :thumb:
“I’m tired and done.” — 89Hen 3/27/22.
User avatar
GannonFan
Level5
Level5
Posts: 18473
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:51 am
I am a fan of: Delaware
A.K.A.: Non-Partisan Hack

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by GannonFan »

Ivytalk wrote:
GannonFan wrote:I'm already being encouraged to do something with a bit more meat in it - possibly a seat on the local Water Authority Board (as a township representative - multiple townships share the same local Water Authority) or a plumb job on the Local Sewer Authority. Now that would be almost literally getting into the swamp! My wife is being sought after for a spot on the Parks Commission board so we could turn into a power couple, locally speaking of course. However, if this is how JSO and his wife started I'll have to put the brakes on this right away.
Plum

But plumb is funnier! :rofl:
:kisswink:
Proud Member of the Blue Hen Nation
CAA Flagship
4th&29
4th&29
Posts: 38527
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:01 pm
I am a fan of: Old Dominion
A.K.A.: He/His/Him/Himself
Location: Pizza Hell

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by CAA Flagship »

GannonFan wrote:I'm already being encouraged to do something with a bit more meat in it - possibly a seat on the local Water Authority Board (as a township representative - multiple townships share the same local Water Authority) or a plumb job on the Local Sewer Authority. Now that would be almost literally getting into the swamp! My wife is being sought after for a spot on the Parks Commission board so we could turn into a power couple, locally speaking of course. However, if this is how JSO and his wife started I'll have to put the brakes on this right away.
Please refer to her with the appropriate title: First Lady :nod: :nod:
User avatar
GannonFan
Level5
Level5
Posts: 18473
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:51 am
I am a fan of: Delaware
A.K.A.: Non-Partisan Hack

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by GannonFan »

CAA Flagship wrote:
GannonFan wrote:I'm already being encouraged to do something with a bit more meat in it - possibly a seat on the local Water Authority Board (as a township representative - multiple townships share the same local Water Authority) or a plumb job on the Local Sewer Authority. Now that would be almost literally getting into the swamp! My wife is being sought after for a spot on the Parks Commission board so we could turn into a power couple, locally speaking of course. However, if this is how JSO and his wife started I'll have to put the brakes on this right away.
Please refer to her with the appropriate title: First Lady :nod: :nod:
We did joke about having some kind of party after I got sworn in, something where we'd ask everyone to wear really fancy clothes and treat it like an inaugural.
Proud Member of the Blue Hen Nation
HI54UNI
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 12387
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:39 pm
I am a fan of: Firing Mark Farley
A.K.A.: Bikinis for JSO
Location: The Panther State

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by HI54UNI »

I hear there's some guys from Jersey that want to talk to you about the street and garbage contracts.

Image
If fascism ever comes to America, it will come in the name of liberalism. Ronald Reagan, 1975.

Progressivism is cancer

All my posts are satire
CAA Flagship
4th&29
4th&29
Posts: 38527
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:01 pm
I am a fan of: Old Dominion
A.K.A.: He/His/Him/Himself
Location: Pizza Hell

Re: Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by CAA Flagship »

Image
User avatar
CID1990
Level5
Level5
Posts: 25478
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:40 am
I am a fan of: Pie
A.K.A.: CID 1990
Location: กรุงเทพมหานคร

Gannonfan Goes to Washington, er, sort of

Post by CID1990 »

So let me get this straight-

youre the guy that makes sure the money is accounted for and spent the way it was supposed to be?

Image

does your wife know about this?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
"You however, are an insufferable ankle biting mental chihuahua..." - Clizzoris
Post Reply