Concerned Catholics

[89Hen]

I don't so the "enter under my roof" stuff - it's my own little protest.

I also don't care for the Penitential Act changes either.

[Ibanez]

I don't so the "enter under my roof" stuff - it's my own little protest.

I also don't care for the Penitential Act changes either.

I just looked those up...yeah. I don't care for that change. If I ever return, i'll be screwed.

[GannonFan]

I also don't care for the Penitential Act changes either.

I just looked those up...yeah. I don't care for that change. If I ever return, i'll be screwed.

Yup, throwing "through my fault" in there three times, and putting "my most grievous" in front of the third one again just smacks of making changes to prove you (the hierarchy) can make changes and will as they see fit. That ranks right up there with the roof and the consubstantial thing as things that made the Mass colder and less approachable than it was before. I grew up in Delaware so that was the Wilmington diocese and that was always much more liberal and user friendly than the reactionary spots like the Philadelphia archdiocese, and I thought the better for it.

[Winterborn]

Catholic funerals are almost as long as Catholic weddings....

First of all, they tend to be no more than an hour, and typically shorter, and besides, why would you want to rush either of them? You get married once (well, you hope to) and you get buried once (again, you hope to) so why skip to the end?

Learned something new today as apparently the area I have attended most of these weddings in has different standards for Catholic weddings than the rest of the country. Though when the Red Eye/Apple Pie comes out it does make all that sitting worth it.

Guess that is where we differ. Shorter the better, as far as I am concerned for weddings. But then I am a guy and I have been accused of having a one track mind. As for funerals my same thoughts apply. I understand why some people need them for saying good by and paying their respects, and I respect that and would not deny anybody that. But nothing any of us do or say is going to make it easier or bring them back. Guess I honor them by passing on their stories and memories in my everyday life and I do that by living my life to the best of my abilities and not in some service.

[GannonFan]

Guess I honor them by passing on their stories and memories in my everyday life and I do that by living my life to the best of my abilities and not in some service.

It's not an either/or, mutually exclusive kind of thing, you can actually do both and plenty of folks do.

[JoltinJoe]

And frankly, "I'm not worthy for you to enter under my roof" is not anywhere close to an improvement over "I'm not worthy to receive you". And not even get me started on that "consubstantial" crap.

Both changes are more literal translations of the original Greek texts. The intent was to translate the original texts more accurately.

Translation is important. For example, when the Angel Gabriel greets Mary, we intepret that into English as "Hail Mary, full of grace." But the original Greek text more accurately means not only "full" of grace, but "perfected" with grace.

Protestants frequently ask why Catholics say Mary was perfected and excepted from original sin -- "Where is that in the Bible?"

The answer is God's own greeting to Mary, through Gabriel, was that she was "perfected" with grace -- but that meaning is not so obvious in the English translation.

"Consubstantial" is an awkward English word, but it more accurately conveys that Jesus was not just "one in being with the Father," but -- at all times -- the very same substance as the Father.

[JoltinJoe]

Yup, throwing "through my fault" in there three times, and putting "my most grievous" in front of the third one again just smacks of making changes to prove you (the hierarchy) can make changes and will as they see fit. That ranks right up there with the roof and the consubstantial thing as things that made the Mass colder and less approachable than it was before. I grew up in Delaware so that was the Wilmington diocese and that was always much more liberal and user friendly than the reactionary spots like the Philadelphia archdiocese, and I thought the better for it.

Again, the change was to a more literal translation of the Penitential prayer used at the opening of the Latin Rite Mass for about 1500 years.

BTW, have you ever attended a Latin (Extraordinary Rite) Mass? It's really interesting. I wouldn't make a habit of it, but I find it fascinating to experience the Mass the way my parents did in their youth, or my grandparents did.

After my first Latin Mass, a lot of things I heard them say took on genuine meaning and context. And I did have a feeling of being part of a singular religious experience that is both worldwide and nearly 2000 years old. Don't get me wrong. Feeling that your part of a modern, vibrant, hip religious community is great. But sticking your toe into the font of the historical liturgy gives even greater meaning to your modern "user friendly" experience -- at least it did for me.

[kalm]

Catholic funerals are almost as long as Catholic weddings....

First of all, they tend to be no more than an hour, and typically shorter, and besides, why would you want to rush either of them? You get married once (well, you hope to) and you get buried once (again, you hope to) so why skip to the end?

I’ll take a stab...

Because weddings are too often about the selfish expectations of the parents and family when they should be about the bride and groom. I plan to offer both my boys a paid trip to elope anywhere they’d like get married in flip flops and a tee shirt maybe on some beech, and I’ll pay for a hell of a party when they get back.

Of course I just doomed myself to having them both marry Catholics...

[Winterborn]

It's not an either/or, mutually exclusive kind of thing, you can actually do both and plenty of folks do.

True, and didn't mean to write it up as a either/or situation. For me personally if it wasn't for familial or societal obligations I probably wouldn't show up.

[Winterborn]

You're a good Dad kalm

One of the two weddings I was at this weekend was just like the one you are describing. It was more for the parents to show off, then about the bride and groom.

[UNI88]

First of all, they tend to be no more than an hour, and typically shorter, and besides, why would you want to rush either of them? You get married once (well, you hope to) and you get buried once (again, you hope to) so why skip to the end?

I’ll take a stab...

Because weddings are too often about the selfish expectations of the parents and family when they should be about the bride and groom. I plan to offer both my boys a paid trip to elope anywhere they’d like get married in flip flops and a tee shirt maybe on some beech, and I’ll pay for a hell of a party when they get back.

Of course I just doomed myself to having them both marry Catholics...

You want your boys to get married on a tree?

When I kick the bucket I want a short service with a big party afterwards. Remember me with a drink in your hand and a smile on your face.

[GannonFan]

First of all, they tend to be no more than an hour, and typically shorter, and besides, why would you want to rush either of them? You get married once (well, you hope to) and you get buried once (again, you hope to) so why skip to the end?

I’ll take a stab...

Because weddings are too often about the selfish expectations of the parents and family when they should be about the bride and groom. I plan to offer both my boys a paid trip to elope anywhere they’d like get married in flip flops and a tee shirt maybe on some beech, and I’ll pay for a hell of a party when they get back.

Of course I just doomed myself to having them both marry Catholics...

To be honest, none of the weddings I've been to, my own included, seemed to be more about the parents. On the contrary, the weddings I have been to have always been more about the couple. You'd think in this day and age, with people getting married later in life, that that would be the case. In my case, I got married when my wife and I were 27 years old, and we were both about 5 years into our professional lives (now that I think of it, maybe that's why some of these wedding are more about the parents - the millenials don't have jobs by 27 years old) and we paid for well over half of the wedding, which was pricey. But it was a great wedding, we had tons of fun, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. And I like church so the church part of it was good too. And again, the readings, the prayers, the songs during church, were all things we picked out.

[Ibanez]

I’ll take a stab...

Because weddings are too often about the selfish expectations of the parents and family when they should be about the bride and groom. I plan to offer both my boys a paid trip to elope anywhere they’d like get married in flip flops and a tee shirt maybe on some beech, and I’ll pay for a hell of a party when they get back.

Of course I just doomed myself to having them both marry Catholics...

To be honest, none of the weddings I've been to, my own included, seemed to be more about the parents. On the contrary, the weddings I have been to have always been more about the couple. You'd think in this day and age, with people getting married later in life, that that would be the case. In my case, I got married when my wife and I were 27 years old, and we were both about 5 years into our professional lives (now that I think of it, maybe that's why some of these wedding are more about the parents - the millenials don't have jobs by 27 years old) and we paid for well over half of the wedding, which was pricey. But it was a great wedding, we had tons of fun, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. And I like church so the church part of it was good too. And again, the readings, the prayers, the songs during church, were all things we picked out.

I've been to 1 wedding where it was all about the parents. We got married at 25, had jobs and paid for about 80% of our wedding.

But, looking back, we both think it was stupid. We should've gone to a courthouse, gotten married then had a family dinner.

[89Hen]

I’ll take a stab...

Because weddings are too often about the selfish expectations of the parents and family when they should be about the bride and groom. I plan to offer both my boys a paid trip to elope anywhere they’d like get married in flip flops and a tee shirt maybe on some beech, and I’ll pay for a hell of a party when they get back.

Of course I just doomed myself to having them both marry Catholics...

To be honest, none of the weddings I've been to, my own included, seemed to be more about the parents. On the contrary, the weddings I have been to have always been more about the couple. You'd think in this day and age, with people getting married later in life, that that would be the case. In my case, I got married when my wife and I were 27 years old, and we were both about 5 years into our professional lives (now that I think of it, maybe that's why some of these wedding are more about the parents - the millenials don't have jobs by 27 years old) and we paid for well over half of the wedding, which was pricey. But it was a great wedding, we had tons of fun, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. And I like church so the church part of it was good too. And again, the readings, the prayers, the songs during church, were all things we picked out.

FWIW, I didn't know 75% of the people at my wedding. They were mostly my in-laws friends. That said, all of my family and friends that came still say it was the best wedding to which they'd ever been. So it was for my in-laws, but it makes me feel good that so many of my friends and family had a great time.

I will also add that my future FIL offered me cash to elope.

[Ibanez]

To be honest, none of the weddings I've been to, my own included, seemed to be more about the parents. On the contrary, the weddings I have been to have always been more about the couple. You'd think in this day and age, with people getting married later in life, that that would be the case. In my case, I got married when my wife and I were 27 years old, and we were both about 5 years into our professional lives (now that I think of it, maybe that's why some of these wedding are more about the parents - the millenials don't have jobs by 27 years old) and we paid for well over half of the wedding, which was pricey. But it was a great wedding, we had tons of fun, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. And I like church so the church part of it was good too. And again, the readings, the prayers, the songs during church, were all things we picked out.

FWIW, I didn't know 75% of the people at my wedding. They were mostly my in-laws friends. That said, all of my family and friends that came still say it was the best wedding to which they'd ever been. So it was for my in-laws, but it makes me feel good that so many of my friends and family had a great time.

I will also add that my future FIL offered me cash to elope.

My in-laws offered us $20k to elope. Should've taken it.

Spoiler: show

Our wedding coincided with the worst flooding Charleston had in over 10 years. The peninsula was closed off and MrsCCU was 45 minutes late b/c the car bringing her to the chapel was going through flood waters. My groomsmen had their car flooded on the way to the reception and arrived hours later in tshirts and jeans.

[GannonFan]

To be honest, none of the weddings I've been to, my own included, seemed to be more about the parents. On the contrary, the weddings I have been to have always been more about the couple. You'd think in this day and age, with people getting married later in life, that that would be the case. In my case, I got married when my wife and I were 27 years old, and we were both about 5 years into our professional lives (now that I think of it, maybe that's why some of these wedding are more about the parents - the millenials don't have jobs by 27 years old) and we paid for well over half of the wedding, which was pricey. But it was a great wedding, we had tons of fun, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. And I like church so the church part of it was good too. And again, the readings, the prayers, the songs during church, were all things we picked out.

FWIW, I didn't know 75% of the people at my wedding. They were mostly my in-laws friends. That said, all of my family and friends that came still say it was the best wedding to which they'd ever been. So it was for my in-laws, but it makes me feel good that so many of my friends and family had a great time.

I will also add that my future FIL offered me cash to elope.

My wife's extended family was/is much larger than my own, but we had seen a lot of them in the 2+ years we dated before we married. I wasn't close to a lot of them, but I knew all but a handful of the 150 or so people at the wedding. It was our wedding - we picked the church (my wife was attending a church in Old City Philly at the time so it was a great location), we picked the music and the musicians at the church, we picked the reception venue, we picked the food, we picked the cake, we picked the band, and so on. Like I said, I loved my wedding, I wouldn't have changed a thing (although it was on the pricey side, so now, many years later, I would like to have some of that money in the bank!).

[andy7171]

About it being all about the parents, We got married at 24. My FIL invited everyone he ever knew. In total, our friends and my family was about half of his invite list. The priest was one of his "friends" I was behind the alter with him for about 50 minutes. I repeated tried coaching him on pronouncing my last name. He was hammered. Not only did he mis-pronounce my last name, he dropped both rings during the ceremony. I was elated afterwards, but that dick ruined everything for my side. It was a long ceremony because both my parents just became Communiicasts(?) Andy way 300+, most Catholics, got their's. And it ended. Never saw that priest again. In total, it was over 2 hours long.

It's a resentment I am working on.

[GannonFan]

About it being all about the parents, We got married at 24. My FIL invited everyone he ever knew. In total, our friends and my family was about half of his invite list. The priest was one of his "friends" I was behind the alter with him for about 50 minutes. I repeated tried coaching him on pronouncing my last name. He was hammered. Not only did he mis-pronounce my last name, he dropped both rings during the ceremony. I was elated afterwards, but that dick ruined everything for my side. It was a long ceremony because both my parents just became Communiicasts(?) Andy way 300+, most Catholics, got their's. And it ended. Never saw that priest again. In total, it was over 2 hours long.

It's a resentment I am working on.

The priest does matter. We were going to use the pastor for her church (nice Jesuit church downtown - good homilist) but then he had to back out and we ended up using the pastor from my parents church who we had known for at least a decade (he ended up officiating all of my siblings weddings). He was an even better homilist and he had a great voice. Whenever we watch the wedding video I'm always glad it was him.

[CAA Flagship]

About it being all about the parents, We got married at 24. My FIL invited everyone he ever knew. In total, our friends and my family was about half of his invite list. The priest was one of his "friends" I was behind the alter with him for about 50 minutes. I repeated tried coaching him on pronouncing my last name. He was hammered. Not only did he mis-pronounce my last name, he dropped both rings during the ceremony. I was elated afterwards, but that dick ruined everything for my side. It was a long ceremony because both my parents just became Communiicasts(?) Andy way 300+, most Catholics, got their's. And it ended. Never saw that priest again. In total, it was over 2 hours long.

It's a resentment I am working on.

The priest does matter. We were going to use the pastor for her church (nice Jesuit church downtown - good homilist) but then he had to back out and we ended up using the pastor from my parents church who we had known for at least a decade (he ended up officiating all of my siblings weddings). He was an even better homilist and he had a great voice. Whenever we watch the wedding video I'm always glad it was him.

I got married in San Diego on the campus of USD. Beautiful church. Priest wasn't a dick, but he wasn't overly cordial either. Not sure if that is the way he is/was, or if it had to do with the fact that we were not parishioners or if it was because my wife is not Catholic, or both. I thought it would lead to a quick ceremony, but no. 1.5 hours +.

[GannonFan]

The priest does matter. We were going to use the pastor for her church (nice Jesuit church downtown - good homilist) but then he had to back out and we ended up using the pastor from my parents church who we had known for at least a decade (he ended up officiating all of my siblings weddings). He was an even better homilist and he had a great voice. Whenever we watch the wedding video I'm always glad it was him.

I got married in San Diego on the campus of USD. Beautiful church. Priest wasn't a dick, but he wasn't overly cordial either. Not sure if that is the way he is/was, or if it had to do with the fact that we were not parishioners or if it was because my wife is not Catholic, or both. I thought it would lead to a quick ceremony, but no. 1.5 hours +.

Did you have a Mass? Some priests won't do the Mass unless both are Catholic, and some parishes are even stingier and won't even let you have the service there (most will though). My boys have been altar serving weddings for the past two years (good income for little work) and I think the shortest they've done is about 25 minutes (no actual Mass). Haven't gone longer than an hour - those priests don't want to overdo it.

That campus in USD is gorgeous, must've been a good spot.

[andy7171]

I got married in San Diego on the campus of USD. Beautiful church. Priest wasn't a dick, but he wasn't overly cordial either. Not sure if that is the way he is/was, or if it had to do with the fact that we were not parishioners or if it was because my wife is not Catholic, or both. I thought it would lead to a quick ceremony, but no. 1.5 hours +.

Did you have a Mass? Some priests won't do the Mass unless both are Catholic, and some parishes are even stingier and won't even let you have the service there (most will though). My boys have been altar serving weddings for the past two years (good income for little work) and I think the shortest they've done is about 25 minutes (no actual Mass). Haven't gone longer than an hour - those priests don't want to overdo it.

That campus in USD is gorgeous, must've been a good spot.

Mia7171 is a server. Her older sister and younger sister aren't. She gets volunteer hours. No pay is involved. It would be nice when she gets scheduled for 7:30am mass though. F that shit!

[JoltinJoe]

BTW, Fr. Conroy rescinded his resignation as House Chaplain.

[89Hen]

No pay is involved.

She needs to get in on funerals. 89Jr was a server and got cash for Thursday morning funerals at our church.

[andy7171]

No pay is involved.

She needs to get in on funerals. 89Jr was a server and got cash for Thursday morning funerals at our church.

She's in high school and no longer at the church's school. I asked her younger sister, MaryCate7171, why she doesn't serve. She told me she doesn't roll that way.

[Ibanez]

No pay is involved.

She needs to get in on funerals. 89Jr was a server and got cash for Thursday morning funerals at our church.

We used to get cash to serve funerals during the school day. Monsignor McMannus always gave us $25/each. You got paid and got out of class for an hour.