United Methodist Church To Split Over Whether Or Not To Be Christians

[JBB]

“There was just no way to reconcile differences,” said Rev. Lloyd Patrick, one of those dismayed by the recent push by traditionalists to follow the Bible instead of each person’s own heart. “A lot of people still want to follow Jesus -- a person from 2000 years ago who made no statements about pronouns and thus has no relevance today -- which is just silly since we all know so much more now and have a better grasp on morality than a bunch of ancient people.”

https://babylonbee.com/news/methodist-c ... christians

Rev. Patrick went on to describe how Christian beliefs put an unnecessary burden on people, as they can lead to ridicule or even being canceled. “I guess they don’t have to worry about that in primitive places overseas,” Rev. Patrick said, “but we can’t be expected to deal with that in the U.S.”

While most of the U.S. Methodist churches are moving in a more modern direction, away from outdated beliefs like Christianity, it’s mainly in less developed nations in places like Africa that are still hung up on things like the Bible, necessitating the split. We got no statements from anyone there, though, as it didn’t seem worth listening to such unenlightened views.

[Ivytalk]

JBB appears to be one of those who doesn’t know that

The

Babylon

Bee

Is

Satire

[JBB]

JBB appears to be one of those who doesn’t know that

The

Babylon

Bee

Is

Satire

Oh my, A smart Ivy league guy. Fake news is where you find it. Of course it’s true. That’s why it’s funny. They are splitting, from the inside, and that is the reason. It’s killing the lutheran businesses too but they have integrated a very profitable human trafficking business into their tax exempt business operations so congregations aren’t as important as they once were.

[JBB]

CNN Attacks Babylon Bee: 'The Internet Is Only Big Enough For One Fake News Site'

CNN has slammed the world's best satire site, The Babylon Bee, after CNN executives realized that "fake news" articles on the website were getting at least as much social media traction as their own.

"There ain't room in this internet for the both of us," growled one CNN anchor on the air Monday evening. "There simply aren't enough people out there for us to fool with our fake news stories and The Babylon Bee to fool with their satire. There isn't enough clickbait and outrage traffic to go around."

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-attacks ... -news-site

[Ivytalk]

So now you’ve found the perfect front for your posts: The Babylon Bee

I guess it’s better than No Child Left Behind or whatever you used to use

You still have no street cred around here

[JBB]

Street cred?

Self loathing Ivy League guy withholds street cred in defense of deep state uniparty

I don’t get any because I insulted common core. UNI88 is college level “no street cred” mad too bro. Besides Jeffery Epstein didn’t commit suicide. Read about it in The NY Times.

[JBB]

UNITED METHODIST FLOAT PLAN TO SPLIT AFTER LGBTQ VOTE


https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2019/09 ... 568982132/

Notice the empty seats in the photo. The fate of all churches without Christ.

“There was just no way to reconcile differences,” said Rev. Lloyd Patrick, one of those dismayed by the recent push by traditionalists to follow the Bible instead of each person’s own heart. “A lot of people still want to follow Jesus -- a person from 2000 years ago who made no statements about pronouns and thus has no relevance today -- which is just silly since we all know so much more now and have a better grasp on morality than a bunch of ancient people.”

[CID1990]

“There was just no way to reconcile differences,” said Rev. Lloyd Patrick, one of those dismayed by the recent push by traditionalists to follow the Bible instead of each person’s own heart. “A lot of people still want to follow Jesus -- a person from 2000 years ago who made no statements about pronouns and thus has no relevance today -- which is just silly since we all know so much more now and have a better grasp on morality than a bunch of ancient people.”

https://babylonbee.com/news/methodist-c ... christians

Rev. Patrick went on to describe how Christian beliefs put an unnecessary burden on people, as they can lead to ridicule or even being canceled. “I guess they don’t have to worry about that in primitive places overseas,” Rev. Patrick said, “but we can’t be expected to deal with that in the U.S.”

While most of the U.S. Methodist churches are moving in a more modern direction, away from outdated beliefs like Christianity, it’s mainly in less developed nations in places like Africa that are still hung up on things like the Bible, necessitating the split. We got no statements from anyone there, though, as it didn’t seem worth listening to such unenlightened views.

You are an unredeemable moron.

Don’t try to backtrack this. You cannot UN-moron yourself from this one.

Go in the corner with Reek.

[JBB]

CNN To Launch Real News Spinoff Site

ATLANTA, GA—After years of publishing distorted headlines, slanted news articles, and heavily biased news coverage, media giant CNN announced Friday that it has decided to launch a spinoff site that focuses on real news comprised of objective facts.

Dubbed “CNN: Real,” the site is designed to bring the news media empire into the arena of publishing real news, a step away from its roots as a channel that covers entirely fabricated stories and shamelessly spins all news into liberal talking points.

[Ivytalk]

Street cred?

Self loathing Ivy League guy withholds street cred in defense of deep state uniparty

I don’t get any because I insulted common core. UNI88 is college level “no street cred” mad too bro. Besides Jeffery Epstein didn’t commit suicide. Read about it in The NY Times.

You really have flipped your cap. Maybe after the NC you’ll just disappear to the wilds of northern Idaho with your Church of the Blessed AK-15.

[Ibanez]

JBB appears to be one of those who doesn’t know that

The

Babylon

Bee

Is

Satire

Oh my, A smart Ivy league guy. Fake news is where you find it. Of course it’s true. That’s why it’s funny. They are splitting, from the inside, and that is the reason. It’s killing the lutheran businesses too but they have integrated a very profitable human trafficking business into their tax exempt business operations so congregations aren’t as important as they once were.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[JBB]

So what Cis1990. You are cancelled.

What is fake and what is real. Children of the state, the common core, will never know. They are programmed on the hour.

Jeffery Epstein didn’t commit suicide says The NY Times?

Jeffery Epstein committed suicide, says The NY Times.

You pick. Use your college education to pick correctly or you will have no street cred.

[CID1990]

So what Cis1990. You are cancelled.

What is fake and what is real. Children of the state, the common core, will never know. They are programmed on the hour.

Jeffery Epstein didn’t commit suicide says The NY Times?

Jeffery Epstein committed suicide, says The NY Times.

You pick. Use your college education to pick correctly or you will have no street cred.

You fell for a parody

JBB = CNN

The End

[JBB]

Street cred?



I don’t get any because I insulted common core. UNI88 is college level “no street cred” mad too bro. Besides Jeffery Epstein didn’t commit suicide. Read about it in The NY Times.

You really have flipped your cap. Maybe after the NC you’ll just disappear to the wilds of northern Idaho with your Church of the Blessed AK-15.

If I wanted a AK15 It’s my right to have it. Self defense is a God given right. It’s governments responsibility to protect God given rights.

Mental health is an issue affecting that right. The US central government controls all schools through the department of education. They have installed system that are inherently unfair, racist in nature and clearly do not serve the best interest of students in teaching them to read, write, think logically, keep open minds and be good citizens.

That political indoctrination and corruption has caused unfairness that grows to anger and then violence. Lots of violence, not only mass shootings. But indoctrinated tools of the state always blame the gun. The “news” “learns” you dat. Dat very same “news” will keep the other violence that doesn’t suit them under wraps.

Your trying to diminish me as a person because of your liberal stereotyping taught to you by the fake news!

You are also trying to diminish me as a person from the “backwoods” the place all of you sophisticated back East influencers are headed with your heavily subsidized electric SUV as soon as the LL Bean order arrives.

No wonder

[houndawg]

So what Cis1990. You are cancelled.

What is fake and what is real. Children of the state, the common core, will never know. They are programmed on the hour.

Jeffery Epstein didn’t commit suicide says The NY Times?

Jeffery Epstein committed suicide, says The NY Times.

You pick. Use your college education to pick correctly or you will have no street cred.

You're going to hurt CID's feelings talking like that. He's a sensitive guy.

You on the other hand are just a loser excuse for a preacher - sent packing by the church he claims to have lead - who has come crawling back after he couldn't find anywhere else that would let him hang around. Your legacy was carved in stone here during your last gambit for acceptance by the cool kids that you desperately crave. You should just stay home alone and stick things up your butt.

[CID1990]

So what Cis1990. You are cancelled.

What is fake and what is real. Children of the state, the common core, will never know. They are programmed on the hour.

Jeffery Epstein didn’t commit suicide says The NY Times?

Jeffery Epstein committed suicide, says The NY Times.

You pick. Use your college education to pick correctly or you will have no street cred.

You're going to hurt CID's feelings talking like that. He's a sensitive guy.

You on the other hand are just a loser excuse for a preacher - sent packing by the church he claims to have lead - who has come crawling back after he couldn't find anywhere else that would let him hang around. Your legacy was carved in stone here during your last gambit for acceptance by the cool kids that you desperately crave. You should just stay home alone and stick things up your butt.

hah hah surely you jest, you flyover midwestern troglodyte

I own little AGS rejects for breakfast


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[houndawg]

Is someone archiving JBB's material?

I don't know how his first effort could possibly be surpassed.

[CID1990]

Is someone archiving JBB's material?

Are you hoping to be overlooked in the jumble?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[UNI88]

Is someone archiving JBB's material?

Are you hoping to be overlooked in the jumble?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He might be looking for spank bank material.

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

[Ibanez]

Wait...JBB is/was a preacher?

[JBB]

https://babylonbee.com/news/methodist-c ... christians

You are an unredeemable moron.

Don’t try to backtrack this. You cannot UN-moron yourself from this one.

Go in the corner with Reek.

If your implying I thought the Bee article was true the fact is it is true. You may not like the spin but the Methodist church has decided to split into Christian and non-Christian groups.

[Ibanez]

You are an unredeemable moron.

Don’t try to backtrack this. You cannot UN-moron yourself from this one.

Go in the corner with Reek.

If your implying I thought the Bee article was true the fact is it is true. You may not like the spin but the Methodist church has decided to split into Christian and non-Christian groups.

Yeah, we already knew you thought a satirical website was real news. You should've been tipped off by the slogan, Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.

[kalm]

You are an unredeemable moron.

Don’t try to backtrack this. You cannot UN-moron yourself from this one.

Go in the corner with Reek.

If your implying I thought the Bee article was true the fact is it is true. You may not like the spin but the Methodist church has decided to split into Christian and non-Christian groups.

Have you ever considered the Unitarian Church? You might like it.

[CID1990]

You are an unredeemable moron.

Don’t try to backtrack this. You cannot UN-moron yourself from this one.

Go in the corner with Reek.

If your implying I thought the Bee article was true the fact is it is true. You may not like the spin but the Methodist church has decided to split into Christian and non-Christian groups.

ORLY?

Tell me more about these Non-Christian Methodists

fascinating

Are they like Prostitutes Who Don’t Fvck?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ivytalk]

The way I heard it, the anti-gay Methodists are being invited to leave and form their own denomination. But, as we learned with the Anglican-Episcopalian split years ago, there are some sticky legal issues. To name one, who gets the existing church buildings?