https://babylonbee.com/news/imane-kheli ... c-violenceImane Khelif Wins First-Ever Gold Medal In Freestyle Domestic Violence
PARIS — Algerian boxer Imane Khelif made history this week by becoming the first-ever Olympian to win the gold medal in the new Freestyle Domestic Violence event.
"This is for all of us," an emotional Khelif said, raising his bloody fist triumphantly as the broken body of his small female opponent lay before him. "I'm proud that my superior man-shoulders and bone structure gave me the ability to beat up this small woman. This is what the sport of freestyle domestic violence is all about."
According to doctors, the genetically male Khelif has higher testosterone and XY chromosomes that make him a killing machine. He has dominated the amateur Domestic Violence circuit, but this is the first time a similar event has made its way to the Olympics.
"Today, I make history as the first professional woman beater to win a gold medal specifically for beating a woman!" a breathless Khelif said as he wiped blood off his gloves. "I'm a brave pioneer!"
"It's — it's my fault," his combatant said as she cried. "I fell down the stairs and into a doorknob really hard, that's all." The sportsmanship she exhibited earned her the silver medal.
At publishing time, Imane Khelif also brought home gold in Freestyle Mansplaining.
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BDKJMU wrote: ↑Fri Aug 02, 2024 9:12 pmhttps://babylonbee.com/news/imane-kheli ... c-violenceImane Khelif Wins First-Ever Gold Medal In Freestyle Domestic Violence
PARIS — Algerian boxer Imane Khelif made history this week by becoming the first-ever Olympian to win the gold medal in the new Freestyle Domestic Violence event.
"This is for all of us," an emotional Khelif said, raising his bloody fist triumphantly as the broken body of his small female opponent lay before him. "I'm proud that my superior man-shoulders and bone structure gave me the ability to beat up this small woman. This is what the sport of freestyle domestic violence is all about."
According to doctors, the genetically male Khelif has higher testosterone and XY chromosomes that make him a killing machine. He has dominated the amateur Domestic Violence circuit, but this is the first time a similar event has made its way to the Olympics.
"Today, I make history as the first professional woman beater to win a gold medal specifically for beating a woman!" a breathless Khelif said as he wiped blood off his gloves. "I'm a brave pioneer!"
"It's — it's my fault," his combatant said as she cried. "I fell down the stairs and into a doorknob really hard, that's all." The sportsmanship she exhibited earned her the silver medal.
At publishing time, Imane Khelif also brought home gold in Freestyle Mansplaining.
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Lol not happening. The fact that Commiela got about 1% in the donk primary showed she is a fraction of the candidate that demented Joe was.
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$300,000,000 raised in a week and 300,000 new volunteers?
You're fucked.
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It wasn’t 300 mil in one week. That’s ok, I know you’re slow. And the false euphria won’t last.
What matters is beginning of Aug cash on hand reported Commiela $377 mil (she inherited Dementia Joe’s), Trump 327 mil. Not a ginormous disparity.
Bookmarked for your bust..
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That false euphoria sucked all the wind out of trump's sails that he got from the RNC and being shot.BDKJMU wrote: ↑Sun Aug 04, 2024 8:14 amIt wasn’t 300 mil in one week. That’s ok, I know you’re slow. And the false euphria won’t last.
What matters is beginning of Aug cash on hand reported Commiela $377 mil (she inherited Dementia Joe’s), Trump 327 mil. Not a ginormous disparity.
Bookmarked for your bust..
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My bad, it took two weeks to raise $300,000,000.BDKJMU wrote: ↑Sun Aug 04, 2024 8:14 amIt wasn’t 300 mil in one week. That’s ok, I know you’re slow. And the false euphria won’t last.
What matters is beginning of Aug cash on hand reported Commiela $377 mil (she inherited Dementia Joe’s), Trump 327 mil. Not a ginormous disparity.
Bookmarked for your bust..
Thrump almost has enough to pay his fines now!
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"My shoes!"UNI88 wrote: ↑Sun Aug 04, 2024 11:14 amThat false euphoria sucked all the wind out of trump's sails that he got from the RNC and being shot.BDKJMU wrote: ↑Sun Aug 04, 2024 8:14 am
It wasn’t 300 mil in one week. That’s ok, I know you’re slow. And the false euphria won’t last.
What matters is beginning of Aug cash on hand reported Commiela $377 mil (she inherited Dementia Joe’s), Trump 327 mil. Not a ginormous disparity.
Bookmarked for your bust..
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