Official CS.com Democrat Convention Thread

[travelinman67]

While praying to God today, the ghost of Charlton Heston stopped by and told me to start this thread.

With Chuck's blessing, I hereby open the official 2008 Democrat Convention thread.

[AZGrizFan]

Where's that funny-ass email that talks about their convention schedule and all the losers scheduled to speak? That's one of the funniest ones EVER.

[travelinman67]

Sights and Sounds of Opening Day...

Setting aside the obvious Rove orchestrated Conk-smear scheme of planting disruptive Moonbats throughout Denver...


...and bribing Recreate '68 participant Mark Cohen to hex Michelle Obama's speech...


...one Moonbat who didn't get the "no more fried foods" memo...


...although somewhat out of step with the RNC's platform, these dissenting celebrants were able to voice their concerns that the Democrat Party had fallen out of touch with the mainstream voice of America, seen here...



...I personally liked the pro-socialist protester in the Harley-Davidson tee...

...would love to see that guy show up for a bike run with that sign...

Some Conks, however, didn't receive the Rovean brain wash transmission from RNC Headquarters and opted to speak the truth and counter the 'bats...



(detail of the poster shown above brought by the Bat Catcher)


Peace, however, was ensured by the Bush Administration supported jackboots, in a demonstration sure to be studied by the Chinese on how to deal with protests WITHOUT resorting to governmental incarceration, torture, and murder of dissenters...



...but it was the sight of riot sticks and bundles of blue zip-tie riot cuffs shoved in the leg pouch of police, below, just feet away from a flock of wild Moonbats, that brought a tear of joy to my eye...



In keeping with the Conk scheme of disrupting, the Dem's mainstream event, the Denver City Council succeeded in blocking attendance of some of the Democrat's keynote leaders when the City Council passed and ordinance which in effect, banned their presence in the City of Denver...

DENVER BANS BUCKETS OF POOP AT DNC PROTESTS
ASSOCIATED PRESS
Posted: 3:32 pm
August 5, 2008

DENVER -- The Denver City Council has passed an ordinance barring protesters from carrying buckets of feces during the Democratic National Convention.

Three protest groups say they've already promised not to toss, smear or spray feces, and they call the new ordinance insulting and excessive.

The council approved the ordinance 12-0 on Monday. It also bars protesters from possessing chains, locks or other materials they could use to create human barricades or cause other disruptions.

Members of Re-create 68, Unconventional Action and Tent State University say the ordinance is overkill because they have signed an agreement not to use excrement.

Despite all these obstacles, inside, the Convention went as planned.

The Democrats were able to highlight their message of "Experience Not Needed To Speak On Our Dais", when their daughter, precocious 7 year old Sasha (a name of Russian origin, meaning "Defending Men". Really! I don't make this stuff up...look it up if you don't believe me.)...


...took the microphone from her Mommy, interrupted her Presidential nominee Daddy, and began questioning him. Daddy, being a properly trained "Modern Man", checked his nuts at the door, stopped speaking and listened as the girls did the talking. Good Boy!
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0 ... 61,00.html

And Senator Obama, speaking just after a rousing tribute by his wife Michelle, who pledged that he would be "an extraordinary president," was hard pushed to get a word in edgeways as his irrepressible daughter stole the show.
"Which city are you in daddy?" she asked, as he tried to introduce a family from Kansas to the packed opening night of the Democratic Party's four-day political jamboree in Denver, Colorado.
Waving, and blowing kisses the two girls were completely unfazed by the thousands of people cheering and applauding all around them as they walked onto the stage to the strains of Stevie Wonder's Isn't She Lovely.
And asked how she thought her mom's speech had gone, Sasha confidently pronounced: "She did good."
"Look after mommy before I get there on Thursday," Senator Obama said, before waving goodbye to Sasha and her 10-year-old sister, Malia.

Thatta girl, Sasha. Make sure Mommy does what she's told, eats her vegetables, and goes to bed early. It's about time those elders learned their place in society.

But clearly, the highlight of the night was the appearance of Democrat icon and patriarch Senator Edward Kennedy (Secret Service Codename: "Sunburn"...again, check it if you don't believe me...)...


...looking healthy after his recent "not socialized medicine, but still government paid-for" tumor surgery done by one of the world's foremost cancer surgeons at Duke Medical Center in confederate territory (who, undoubtedly is a whole-hearted supporter of socialized medicine ).

"Teddy's" appearance was preceded by a Ken Burns produced docu-profile of the Senator, complete with actual footage of Teddy's boat cutting through the waters near his home, wind in his hair, seabreeze in his face...



...as a Morgan Freeman like voice talked about Teddy's love in, er, I mean "for" the water...



...his epic battles against the oppressors who try to drown out the voices of America's women...

http://blogs.timesunion.com/capitol/archives/6285

...and his empathy for the underprivileged, drawn from his own personal life experience...
http://www.nndb.com/people/623/000023554/

...Kennedy earned C grades at the private Milton Academy, but was admitted to Harvard as a "legacy" -- his father and older brothers had attended there, so the younger and dimmer Kennedy's admission was virtually assured. While attending, he was expelled twice, once for cheating on a test, and once for paying a classmate to cheat for him. [Note: Biden cheats, and Kennedy too? So THAT'S the qualification to become a leader in the Democrat Party...who'd a thunk?] While expelled, Kennedy enlisted in the Army, but mistakenly signed up for four years instead of two. His father, Joseph P. Kennedy, former U.S. Ambassador to England, pulled the necessary strings to have his enlistment shortened to two years, and to ensure that he served in Europe, not Korea, where a war was raging. Kennedy was assigned to Paris, never advanced beyond the rank of Private, and returned to Harvard upon being discharged...

...In a late-1980s media profile, Kennedy was succinctly described as someone who "grew to manhood without learning to be an adult". He is rumored to have had several affairs while married to his first wife, and had often been seen in public while thoroughly tanked and/or behaving obnoxiously. In 1987 he was caught in flagrante delicto with an unidentified woman on the floor of a restaurant...

A fitting tribute for the cornerstone of American liberalism, and Patriarch of the Democrat Party.

What wonders will day number two bring...?

[SuperHornet]

Three things I saw last night that I just don't get:

1. The idiots protesting the DNC because somehow Obama's a war hawk. These guys were also threatening a Fox News correspondent who was just doing his job.

2. The radical Hillarians who claim that they're dumping Obama for McCain because they "have the understanding" that McCain will not go for a repeal of Roe v. Wade. Have they been watching the same guy we have? McCain's been pro-life from the beginning.

3. The parking lot interview of the editor of Newsday. He's blathering about how horrible Bill O'Reilly is, but couldn't come up with any concrete examples to support his point. Now, I'm no fan of O'Reilly, but if you're going to bash ANYONE, you'd d@#% well better have examples to back you up.

[AZGrizFan]

T-Man, that might be the post of the year.

[AZGrizFan]

Just turned on the convention coverage on CNN, and they're covering Hildabeast's walkthrough for her speech tonight....Chelsea is with her. Is it just ME, or does Chelsea have an incredibly bodacious booty? That thing is Goooood....I wanna be ON it....

[JoltinJoe]

T-Man, as a lifelong Democrat, I find your post painfully funny.

Recently, one of my partners who is active in the state Republican party, asked me if I wanted to play in a Republican fundraiser golf outing. I reminded him that I was a Democrat and would feel funny about it.

He said, "Oh, come on. You don't want to be seen at a country club with a bunch of Democrats."

When I persisted, he said, "They'll be Democrats at the outing. They'll be working in the kitchen."

[travelinman67]

T-Man, as a lifelong Democrat, I find your post painfully funny.

Recently, one of my partners who is active in the state Republican party, asked me if I wanted to play in a Republican fundraiser golf outing. I reminded him that I was a Democrat and would feel funny about it.

He said, "Oh, come on. You don't want to be seen at a country club with a bunch of Democrats."

When I persisted, he said, "They'll be Democrats at the outing. They'll be working in the kitchen."

And when the Dem's need kitchen help, I wonder who they'll hire...???

[Appaholic]

T-Man, as a lifelong Democrat, I find your post painfully funny.

Recently, one of my partners who is active in the state Republican party, asked me if I wanted to play in a Republican fundraiser golf outing. I reminded him that I was a Democrat and would feel funny about it.

He said, "Oh, come on. You don't want to be seen at a country club with a bunch of Democrats."

When I persisted, he said, "They'll be Democrats at the outing. They'll be working in the kitchen."

And when the Dem's need kitchen help, I wonder who they'll hire...???

So.....AZ's a democrat?

[Appaholic]

T-Man, that might be the post of the year.

I concur...good job T-man....got my bail money for the 21st?

[travelinman67]

T-Man, that might be the post of the year.

I concur...good job T-man....got my bail money for the 21st?

I'm buying off the value menu to save up enough.

[Appaholic]

I concur...good job T-man....got my bail money for the 21st?

I'm buying off the value menu to save up enough.

Smart man, that's why you make the big bucks.........so you can bail me out I mean.....

[Rob Iola]

This is all Bush's fault.

[Appaholic]

This is all Bush's fault.

Welcome to you and your wife beater....thanks for joining us......

[Ursus A. Horribilis]

This is all Bush's fault.

Welcome to you and your wife beater....thanks for joining us......

Seconded and I must have that Avatar appearing soon RI. Good to see ya over here my friend. We could use a little humor with this bunch of hacks going at it.



We can reset the dooms day clock now as this is just getting downright venerable.

[AZGrizFan]

Just turned on the convention coverage on CNN, and they're covering Hildabeast's walkthrough for her speech tonight....Chelsea is with her. Is it just ME, or does Chelsea have an incredibly bodacious booty? That thing is Goooood....I wanna be ON it....

Not ONE comment about Chelsea's ass? Damn, that thing is GOOD!!!!

[travelinman67]

This is all Bush's fault.

'Bout time you got your azz over here. But a classy joint like this requires sleeved tees.

[Ursus A. Horribilis]

Just turned on the convention coverage on CNN, and they're covering Hildabeast's walkthrough for her speech tonight....Chelsea is with her. Is it just ME, or does Chelsea have an incredibly bodacious booty? That thing is Goooood....I wanna be ON it....

Not ONE comment about Chelsea's ass? Damn, that thing is GOOD!!!!

I did mean to ask earlier where I might view a picture of the creature. I didn't see the walk through thing but I do like pictures of Chelsea lookin' hot. Do you have anything from about 92 or 93?




I know...I went too far.





I'm sorry.

[D1B]

T-Man, as a lifelong Democrat, I find your post painfully funny.

Recently, one of my partners who is active in the state Republican party, asked me if I wanted to play in a Republican fundraiser golf outing. I reminded him that I was a Democrat and would feel funny about it.

He said, "Oh, come on. You don't want to be seen at a country club with a bunch of Democrats."

When I persisted, he said, "They'll be Democrats at the outing. They'll be working in the kitchen."

I bet you golfed.

[Ibanez]

Democratic Convention Schedule

Denver, Colorado

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial Terrorist Fist-Jab led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM – Jesse Jackson Leads Castrati Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"
5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival Tips – Dennis Kucinich
5:15 PM – John Edwards Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite from Hotel Bathroom
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite from Emperors VIP Club
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States Obama Has Visited
6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Acceptance Speech Featuring a 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
8:45 PM – Hillary Clinton Releases Her Delegates and Flying Monkeys
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:30 PM – Exclusive Panties-Optional Celebrity Party Hosted by Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Congressman William "Cold Cash" Jefferson
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter and Clingy Gun Owners
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Denial of Progress in Iraq and Waving of White Flag
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM – Free Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Pep Rally
11:30 PM – Al Gore Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama via Text Message Sent by Scarlett Johansson
12:01 AM – Barack Obama Accepts Nomination for Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Hillary Clinton Delivers Acceptance Speech

[Ibanez]

2004 Democratic Convention Schedule

Boston, Massachusetts

6:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
6:05 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
6:15 PM - Secular Prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30 PM - Antiwar Concert by Barbara Streisand
6:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
7:00 PM - Tribute to France
7:10 PM - Collect Offerings for al-Zawahri Defense Fund
7:25 PM - Tribute to Germany
7:45 PM - Antiwar Rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
8:30 PM - Terrorist Appeasement Workshop
9:00 PM - Roundtable Discussion of Taxes: "Calling for Higher Taxes on Others While You Pay None"
9:15 PM - Bill & Hillary Clinton Host a Seminar on "The Successful Selling of White House & Air Force One Mementos on eBay"
9:20 PM - Gay Marriage Ceremony (Both Male and Female Couples)
9:30 PM - * Intermission * Special Guest Soloist Jane Fonda
10:00 PM - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10 PM - Reenactment of Kerry's Fake Medal Toss
10:20 PM - Howard Dean Screamfest 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30 PM - Seminar: "The Boy Scouts and Other Paramilitary threats to National Security"
10:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
10:45 PM - Abortion Demonstration (NARAL)
11:00 PM - Multiple Gay Marriage Ceremony (Threesomes, Mixed and Same-Sex)
11:15 PM - 'Maximizing Welfare' Workshop
11:30 PM - 'Free Saddam' Pep Rally
11:50 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
12:00 AM - Kerry-Edwards 2004 Sealed With A Kiss
12:01 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
12:02 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast

[JoltinJoe]

T-Man, as a lifelong Democrat, I find your post painfully funny.

Recently, one of my partners who is active in the state Republican party, asked me if I wanted to play in a Republican fundraiser golf outing. I reminded him that I was a Democrat and would feel funny about it.

He said, "Oh, come on. You don't want to be seen at a country club with a bunch of Democrats."

When I persisted, he said, "They'll be Democrats at the outing. They'll be working in the kitchen."

I bet you golfed.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

[Cleets Part 2]

Fuck Golf..!!!!

[D1B]

I bet you golfed.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

No, just wondering if you needed the Jaws of Life to extract your head from Tman's colon.

[JoltinJoe]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

No, just wondering if you needed the Jaws of Life to extract your head from Tman's colon.

I just thought his message was funny. Distorted, but funny.

Try to have some fun here. Nothing personal. It helps to be able to laugh at jokes, even lobbed at your side.

Besides, when Obama wins, T-Man will be in no mood to make jokes. So let him get it out of his system now.