Are You Liberal, or Conservative?

[native]

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

[ALPHAGRIZ1]

So FU*KING TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!

[Col Hogan]

I usually hate these generalized lists....

But when you hit the nail smack on the head so many times...

[93henfan]

FIFY

If a conservative doesn't like guns, fellow conservatives consider him a homosexual.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, fellow conservatives consider him a homosexual

If a conservative is homosexual, he hides it and goes into politics or the clergy, constantly renouncing and legislating against homosexuals until he is caught.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he blows up a federal building or shoots an abortion doctor.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he complains about how the media is liberal and then flips to one of the many 24-hour conservative media outlets so he doesn't have to hear anything he disagrees with.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he'll become a born again Christian and start railing against non-believers.

If a conservative decides she needs health care, she'll sneak to Canada.

[Gil Dobie]

FIFY

If a conservative doesn't like guns, fellow conservatives consider him a homosexual.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, fellow conservatives consider him a homosexual

If a conservative is homosexual, he hides it and goes into politics or the clergy, constantly renouncing and legislating against homosexuals until he is caught.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he blows up a federal building or shoots an abortion doctor.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he complains about how the media is liberal and then flips to one of the many 24-hour conservative media outlets so he doesn't have to hear anything he disagrees with.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he'll become a born again Christian and start railing against non-believers.

If a conservative decides she needs health care, she'll sneak to Canada.

I'm sure the Donks believe these as much as the Conks believe Native's list.

[kalm]

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

What about gun owning, meat eating, heterosexual, Hannity listening, religious, privately insured liberals like me?

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Conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American male.
Gay bashin', black fearin', poor fightin', tree killin', regional leaders of the South
Frat housin', keg tappin', shirt tuckin', back slappin' haters of hippies like me.
Tree huggin', peace lovin', pot smokin', porn watchin' lazyass hippies like me.
Tree huggin', love makin', pro choicen, gay weddin', widespread diggin' hippies like me.
Skin color-blinded, conspiracy-minded, protestors of corporate greed,
We who have nothing and most likely will ‘till we all wind up locked up in jails
By conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American males,.

[native]

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

What about gun owning, meat eating, heterosexual, Hannity listening, religious, privately insured liberals like me?

" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American male.
Gay bashin', black fearin', poor fightin', tree killin', regional leaders of the South
Frat housin', keg tappin', shirt tuckin', back slappin' haters of hippies like me.
Tree huggin', peace lovin', pot smokin', porn watchin' lazyass hippies like me.
Tree huggin', love makin', pro choicen, gay weddin', widespread diggin' hippies like me.
Skin color-blinded, conspiracy-minded, protestors of corporate greed,
We who have nothing and most likely will ‘till we all wind up locked up in jails
By conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American males,.

No such animal. You are a figment of your own imagination, kalm.

[kalm]

What about gun owning, meat eating, heterosexual, Hannity listening, religious, privately insured liberals like me?

" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American male.
Gay bashin', black fearin', poor fightin', tree killin', regional leaders of the South
Frat housin', keg tappin', shirt tuckin', back slappin' haters of hippies like me.
Tree huggin', peace lovin', pot smokin', porn watchin' lazyass hippies like me.
Tree huggin', love makin', pro choicen, gay weddin', widespread diggin' hippies like me.
Skin color-blinded, conspiracy-minded, protestors of corporate greed,
We who have nothing and most likely will ‘till we all wind up locked up in jails
By conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American males,.

No such animal. You are a figment of your own imagination, kalm.

I know Nate, the liberal boogeman makes it much easier to be a hater and keeps Glenn on the air for ya.

[native]

No such animal. You are a figment of your own imagination, kalm.

I know Nate, the liberal boogeman makes it much easier to be a hater and keeps Glenn on the air for ya.

Nope. Not in this instance. The modest list I posted was pretty mundane and accurate. Your follow on post was a absurd, irrational screed for all to see.

THANKS for making Beck look insightful, moderate and intelligent, kalm!

[kalm]

I know Nate, the liberal boogeman makes it much easier to be a hater and keeps Glenn on the air for ya.

Nope. Not in this instance. The modest list I posted was pretty mundane and accurate. Your follow on post was a absurd, irrational screed for all to see.

THANKS for making Beck look insightful, moderate and intelligent, kalm!

Screed? Dude it was song satirical song lyrics - get a grip.

Your post was the same crap I get sent to me daily by conk relatives and friends. Your reality is based on the fear tactics of the oxymoronic right wing intelligentsia. It may not be based in reality, but it sells good copy and creates intriguing radio and tv.

[Chizzang]

[houndawg]

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

......(whine, snivel).....Libruls are such meanies.......(whimper, bleat)........they want to take our guns.......(sniffle)......please save us, Sarah.......... .

[Rob Iola]

A liberal believes that in certain situations, a wise Latina can render better judicial decisions than some old white guys...

A conservative just wishes that she'd hurry up with that extra value meal already...