Deep in my inclusive, friendly leftie heart, I hope the Conks stay with us as we liberals right this badly-off-course-and-listing ship that is the United States of America. There will be room for them (in the mail rooms and landscaping).
Nevertheless, Conks may want to leave the borders, post election day. Where can they go, though? Sh*t, I don't know, but their exile landing place needs to meet certain requirements:
1. Disdain for the rights of women and minorites
2. All-powerful central leader.
3. Legislative body that rubber-stamps virtually everything the leader proposes.
4. One legal religion.
5. Intensive interference in the privacy of individuals.
6. Non-existent oversight of economic and financial institutions.
7. Triumph of the rich over the poor.
8. Dislike for civil rights.
9. Full prisons.
10. Guns sold at convenience stores.
11. Condoms banned.
12. Abortion a capital crime.
13. Altar boys, pages and underage girls have no power or representation.
14. Ethics Laws? "We don't need no stinking ethics laws!"
15. Abstinence-only sex education until teen preg rate reaches 60%, then a reexamination
16. Paper Tiger military that ain't worth a f*ck despite trillions in expenditures.
Given the above, one thinks Conks might be happy in either Iran, Russia, Saudi Arabia, North Korea, or Myanmar.
Link: Expedia Conk Relocation Servics
Thank you for your time,
Cap'n Cat
