"Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by polsongrizz »

Ursus A. Horribilis wrote:
polsongrizz wrote: You are more than likely right, I might have to run any future posts through you first. :mrgreen:
Wow, your come on lines are really getting bad. I mean there's no way GC fell for a line like that.
You are very quick with the rapier wit...btw that is exactly what she fell on, or for... :mrgreen:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by polsongrizz »

Grizalltheway wrote:Lay off my boy Hurtz, Pols. He means well. :geek:
Being as your standing "up" for him I will leave you two to it so to speak. :nod:
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“We didn’t have a man or woman in the drone,” Trump explained to a confused America. “We had nobody in the drone. It would have made a big difference, let me tell you. It would have made a big, big difference.”
Mexico will pay for the wall
THE MOON IS PART OF MARS
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by Cap'n Cat »

polsongrizz wrote:Some downright funny shit...

"Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

11- You believe in a book (New Testemant) that was written 80 years after your Messiah died by men who never met him (Ever played "Telephone"?) but continously deny modern science books.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

:notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by Ivytalk »

I just go to my "mainstream Protestant" church every Sunday and mind my own business. :coffee:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by COBBLESTONE »

polsongrizz wrote:Some downright funny ****...

"Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

11- You believe in a book (New Testemant) that was written 80 years after your Messiah died by men who never met him (Ever played "Telephone"?) but continously deny modern science books.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I wouldn't say that is true of all Christians. It is true of a good number of them since most have never taken the time to thoroughly research their religion or any alternatives. Most are gullible and just like to believe what they've been spoon-fed on Sundays.

Some atheists know the bible pretty well because those are the ones who are former Christians who took the time to actually study the bible and other religious writings.
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by Vidav »

COBBLESTONE wrote:
polsongrizz wrote:Some downright funny ****...

"Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

11- You believe in a book (New Testemant) that was written 80 years after your Messiah died by men who never met him (Ever played "Telephone"?) but continously deny modern science books.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I wouldn't say that is true of all Christians. It is true of a good number of them since most have never taken the time to thoroughly research their religion or any alternatives. Most are gullible and just like to believe what they've been spoon-fed on Sundays.

Some atheists know the bible pretty well because those are the ones who are former Christians who took the time to actually study the bible and other religious writings.
"Take some time and put the Bible on your Summer reading list. Try and stick with it cover to cover. Not because it teaches history, we've shown you it doesn't. Read it because you'll see for yourself what the Bible is all about. It sure isn't great literature. If it were published as fiction, no reviewer would give it a passing grade. There are some vivid scenes and some quotable phrases, but there's no plot, no structure, there's a tremendous amount of filler, and the characters are painfully one-dimensional. Whatever you do, don't read the Bible for a moral code: it advocates prejudice, cruelty, superstition, and murder. Read it because we need more atheists, and nothing will get you there faster than reading the damn Bible." - Penn Jillette :thumb:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by andy7171 »

Hey look all the non-practicing Catholics are playing together!
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by Appaholic »

andy7171 wrote:Hey look all the non-practicing Catholics are playing together!
:rofl: :notworthy:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by andy7171 »

Appaholic wrote:
andy7171 wrote:Hey look all the non-practicing Catholics are playing together!
:rofl: :notworthy:
bump for D1B :mrgreen:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by kalm »

I'm a non practicing Lutheran which means I'm twice better than DIB. :mrgreen:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by grizzaholic »

andy7171 wrote:Hey look all the non-practicing Catholics are playing together!
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by pikachu »

grizzaholic wrote:
andy7171 wrote:Hey look all the non-practicing Catholics are playing together!
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Stick to your topics likewolves and gun rights. :|
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by andy7171 »

Ah shit.
"Elaine, you're from Baltimore, right?"
"Yes, well, Towson actually."
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by youngterrier »

pikachu wrote:
grizzaholic wrote: Image
Stick to your topics likewolves and gun rights. :|
Pikachu doesn't talk that way. Imposter
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

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andy7171 wrote:Hey look all the non-practicing Catholics are playing together!
+10 for you, Sir!

Signed,

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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by pikachu »

youngterrier wrote:
pikachu wrote: Stick to your topics likewolves and gun rights. :|
Pikachu doesn't talk that way. Imposter
pikachu, pikachu, pikachu...

PIKACHU, PIKACHU!

pikachu? :oops:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by youngterrier »

pikachu wrote:
youngterrier wrote: Pikachu doesn't talk that way. Imposter
pikachu, pikachu, pikachu...

PIKACHU, PIKACHU!

pikachu? :oops:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by BigSkyBears »

eagleskins wrote:All religion is a farce. I can't decide who are bigger douche bags, Christians or Mormons. It's close.
So Martin Luther King Jr was a douche bag?
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by Screamin_Eagle174 »

andy7171 wrote:Ah shit.
:lol:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by Ursus A. Horribilis »

Screamin_Eagle174 wrote:
andy7171 wrote:Ah shit.
:lol:
Had the same reaction, played it off well there didn't he? :lol:
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by COBBLESTONE »

andy7171 wrote:Hey look all the non-practicing Catholics are playing together!
Most are gullible and just like to believe what they've been spoon-fed on Sundays.
Case in point. :coffee:

Gotta love the avatar though.
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by andy7171 »

Ursus A. Horribilis wrote:
Screamin_Eagle174 wrote: :lol:
Had the same reaction, played it off well there didn't he? :lol:
:lol:
"Elaine, you're from Baltimore, right?"
"Yes, well, Towson actually."
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Re: "Top Eleven Signs You're a Christian:"

Post by D1B »

BigSkyBears wrote:
eagleskins wrote:All religion is a farce. I can't decide who are bigger douche bags, Christians or Mormons. It's close.
So Martin Luther King Jr was a douche bag?
He's the rare exception.
"Sarah Palin absolutely blew AWAY the audience tonight. If there was any doubt as to whether she was savvy enough, tough enough or smart enough to carry the mantle of Vice President, she put those fears to rest tonight. She took on Barack Obama DIRECTLY on every issue and exposed... She did it with warmth and humor, and came across as the every-person....it's becoming mroe and more clear that she was a genius pick for McCain."

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