Baseball 2009

[Col Hogan]

In 15 days, pitchers and catchers for most teams start the annual Spring Training process, and the 2009 baseball season is underway...

I, for one, look forward to each baseball season as a little kid looks forward to a birthday party or Christmas...only, it last for seven or either months...

To get in the mood, I found this classic list...

Why Baseball Can Be Better Than Sex
In Numerical Order


1 You can play baseball as much or as little as you want, YOU get to decide.

2 In baseball, the other team pays attention throughout, even if they're done scoring.

3 If you have to take a piss during a baseball game, you can say "Excuse me, I gotta drain the swamp" and you don't lose style points.

4 In baseball, nobody comments on the size of your bat, as long as you know what to do with it.

5 In baseball, you don't have to compliment the other team on their new uniforms.

6 In baseball, you can play the same team every day for a year and it's never the same twice.

7 You don't have to buy the other team dinner to get a game.

8 In baseball, you don't feel guilty about winning the ugly ones.

9 After an unusually long and difficult baseball game you can still ride your bike home.

10 The other team never has to forfeit a game because they're on their period.

11 If you get all scratched up in a baseball game, you can brag about it to your wife.

12 In baseball, you can go a couple months without scoring and your balls won't hurt.

13 You don't mind if your parents come to watch you play baseball.

14 You can play three, maybe four baseball games a day.

15 In baseball, you don't care if the other team has had marital relations with diseased livestock.

16 In a good weekend of baseball, you can play six or seven different teams and it only costs you twenty bucks and you may get a prize at the end.

17 Playing the wrong baseball team won't get you shot.

18 You can be absolutely certain that, nine months after a baseball game, the other teams lawyers won't call, asking for half of your pre-tax income for the next eighteen years.

19 Rest assured that the other team will not invite you to the ballet.

20 The other team doesn't demand that you shave before the game.

21 The other team can smell like road kill and you'll never know it.

22 If you don't score in a baseball game, the other team doesn't ask you if you've had that problem often.

23 No matter how drunk the other team is they never throw up in your bed.

[AZGrizFan]

So, I just heard Arizona signed John Garland for 1 year, $7 million. We got a 14-8 pitcher, 4.3+ ERA, when we could have gotten RANDYJOHNSON back for less than that.

WTF?

[dbackjon]

So, I just heard Arizona signed John Garland for 1 year, $7 million. We got a 14-8 pitcher, 4.3+ ERA, when we could have gotten RANDYJOHNSON back for less than that.

WTF?

The Diamondbacks and free agent right-hander Jon Garland have agreed to terms on a one-year deal with an option for 2010, according to major league sources.

It appears the contract is similar to one of the proposals the sides discussed two weeks ago, in which the deal would include an option that could be exercised by either the player or team. The value of the buyout would change depending on which side declines the option.

The specifics of the deal are not known, but Garland's guaranteed money is believed to be in the $6 million to $8 million range.

[SuperHornet]

And the Midgets just signed Will Clark AGAIN.

[JoltinJoe]

Probably when they start playing games, I'll get into baseball.

But right now, watching my Yankees throw crazy money around in the middle of this severe economic downturn, all kicked off by that fabulous shopping mall with a baseball field in the middle -- it's a little tough to get excited,

[AZGrizFan]

Probably when they start playing games, I'll get into baseball.

But right now, watching my Yankees throw crazy money around in the middle of this severe economic downturn, all kicked off by that fabulous shopping mall with a baseball field in the middle -- it's a little tough to get excited,

Yeah, I'd be a tad embarrassed if I was a Jankees fan too.

[Willie]

Probably when they start playing games, I'll get into baseball.

But right now, watching my Yankees throw crazy money around in the middle of this severe economic downturn, all kicked off by that fabulous shopping mall with a baseball field in the middle -- it's a little tough to get excited,

Yeah, I'd be a tad embarrassed if I was a Jankees fan too.

I'm not.

[AZGrizFan]

Yeah, I'd be a tad embarrassed if I was a Jankees fan too.

I'm not.

You KNOW you're a Mariners fan. Admit it.

[Willie]

I was born a Yankee and will die one.

[AZGrizFan]

I was born a Yankee and will die one.

Have they won a world series title in your lifetime?

[JoltinJoe]

I was born a Yankee and will die one.

Have they won a world series title in your lifetime?

In my lifetime, they've won 7.

Saw Game #6 in 1996.

[dbackjon]

Have they won a world series title in your lifetime?

In my lifetime, they've won 7.

Saw Game #6 in 1996.

My fondest sporting memory is game 7 of the 2001 World Series.

I was under a minute from topping that last night

[AZGrizFan]

Have they won a world series title in your lifetime?

In my lifetime, they've won 7.

Saw Game #6 in 1996.

How about in the last 1/3 of your lifetime?

[Willie]

I was born a Yankee and will die one.

Have they won a world series title in your lifetime?

'96 '98 '99 '00

[AZGrizFan]

Have they won a world series title in your lifetime?

'96 '98 '99 '00

So you're a 36 year old kicker?

[Willie]

'96 '98 '99 '00

So you're a 36 year old kicker?

Where the hell do you get 36?

[AZGrizFan]

So you're a 36 year old kicker?

Where the hell do you get 36?

I asked you about the last 1/3 of your life. You spout stats from 12 years ago. This implies you're 36.

If you are, in fact, a 21 or 22 year old kicker, then you've had exactly ONE world championship in the last 1/3 of your life.

[Willie]

Oh eat me. Yes I'm aware they haven't won it since '00. What other team has 26 titles???

[AZGrizFan]

Oh eat me. Yes I'm aware they haven't won it since '00. What other team has 26 titles???

Jesus it's easy to get under the skin of a yank-me's fan.

[dbackjon]

Oh eat me. Yes I'm aware they haven't won it since '00. What other team has 26 titles???

How many other teams have won titles since the Yankees?