oh yeah, nightmares.D1B wrote:L'ingMAO at Captain Canvas Flaps!AZGrizFan wrote:
Another internet victory claimer. Is your life that meaningless?
Z, you having nighmares about houndawg and I?
Better luck next week. You have a long weekend to gather your strength and focus, and work on mending your canvas flaps after the Mem Day BBQ.
AZGrizFan wrote:oh yeah, nightmares.D1B wrote:
L'ingMAO at Captain Canvas Flaps!
Z, you having nighmares about houndawg and I?
Better luck next week. You have a long weekend to gather your strength and focus, and work on mending your canvas flaps after the Mem Day BBQ.
D1B wrote:AZGrizFan wrote:
oh yeah, nightmares.
Bet you woke up several times last night in a fit of anxiety wondering what houndawg has up his sleeve.
http://www.nytimes.com/atheists_welcomed_into_heaven" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;D1B wrote:JoltinJoe wrote:
In a news photo captured this morning, residents of Heaven react to the announcement that D1B and other atheists are now eligible for salvation.
D1B already is a lock.
Residents of Heaven Welcome Non-Believers
HEAVEN, SIXTH DIMENSION -- Residents of Heaven welcomed the announcement this morning that, for the first, atheists would be permitted eternal salvation in heaven. The announcement was made by God the Father at Heaven's Gate during a celebration of the feast of St. Constantine.
"I've given this a lot of thought," said God the Father. "Why not? I mean, it will lower the overall IQ of heaven, but what the hell, I said, let's go for it."
"I always believed this should be the case," said Karol Wojtyla, who served as Pope John Paul II during his life on earth. "I had nothing against atheists, except that they were wrong. But then again, who's always right?"
Mother Teresa concurred. "This is a welcome decision, to make Heaven more catholic, in the small "c" sense."
While atheists are being welcomed into Heaven, a spokesman for the Trinity stated, "They are here now and are welcome, but they certainly are not going to permitted to live in the same neighborhoods as believers. We are still working out the arrangements."
Near Heaven's Gate, in the luxury neighborhood of the Courtyard of the Apostles, a recent admittee into Heaven, Christopher Hitchens, was being shown his new eternal accommodations, a small servant's hut on the estate of Mother Teresa. Hitchens, who went through life as a prominent journalist and lecturer, will now spend eternity as Mother Teresa's errand boy.
In addition to serving as Mother Teresa's errand boy, Hitchens must wear a shirt that says, "I have a BIG mouth."
Hitchens was on his way to the market, to buy bottled water which will be transformed into wine for use at Mother Teresa's Memorial Day Pool Party, when he spoke to a reporter.
"Well, it's certainly a humbling experience, and that's tough for a guy like me who went through life as an ass with an over-inflated ego," Hitchens said. "But I'm not complaining. This is way better than the place I spent the last 18 months, that's for sure."
Nearby in the Courtyard of the Apostles, worker angels were starting work on another palatial estate. When asked about the work, a spokesman said, "I cannot tell you the specific details, but this is being built for a highly regarded lawyer from Fordham who will be in heaven some day."
Already completed on the property was the servant's hut, but again, the spokesman would not divulge details about who would live the in the servant's hut.
"This will be the home of a former UNI football player, that's all we can say."
JoltinJoe wrote:http://www.nytimes.com/atheists_welcomed_into_heaven" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;D1B wrote:
D1B already is a lock.
Residents of Heaven Welcome Non-Believers
HEAVEN, SIXTH DIMENSION -- Residents of Heaven welcomed the announcement this morning that, for the first, atheists would be permitted eternal salvation in heaven. The announcement was made by God the Father at Heaven's Gate during a celebration of the feast of St. Constantine.
"I've given this a lot of thought," said God the Father. "Why not? I mean, it will lower the overall IQ of heaven, but what the hell, I said, let's go for it."
"I always believed this should be the case," said Karol Wojtyla, who served as Pope John Paul II during his life on earth. "I had nothing against atheists, except that they were wrong. But then again, who's always right?"
Mother Teresa concurred. "This is a welcome decision, to make Heaven more catholic, in the small "c" sense."
While atheists are being welcomed into Heaven, a spokesman for the Trinity stated, "They are here now and are welcome, but they certainly are not going to permitted to live in the same neighborhoods as believers. We are still working out the arrangements."
Near Heaven's Gate, in the luxury neighborhood of the Courtyard of the Apostles, a recent admittee into Heaven, Christopher Hitchens, was being shown his new eternal accommodations, a small servant's hut on the estate of Mother Teresa. Hitchens, who went through life as a prominent journalist and lecturer, will now spend eternity as Mother Teresa's errand boy.
In addition to serving as Mother Teresa's errand boy, Hitchens must wear a shirt that says, "I have a BIG mouth."
Hitchens was on his way to the market, to buy bottled water which will be transformed into wine for use at Mother Teresa's Memorial Day Pool Party, when he spoke to a reporter.
"Well, it's certainly a humbling experience, and that's tough for a guy like me who went through life as an ass with an over-inflated ego," Hitchens said. "But I'm not complaining. This is way better than the place I spent the last 18 months, that's for sure."
Nearby in the Courtyard of the Apostles, worker angels were starting work on another palatial estate. When asked about the work, a spokesman said, "I cannot tell you the specific details, but this is being built for a highly regarded lawyer from Fordham who will be in heaven some day."
Already completed on the property was the servant's hut, but again, the spokesman would not divulge details about who would live the in the servant's hut.
"This will be the home of a former UNI football player, that's all we can say."
